SMOSH THROUGH TIME: The Exciting Middle Part (Book Two)
by MiGZ21
Summary: The Second Book of the 'SMOSH INTO TIME' EPIC TRILOGY. Just as they thought that everything was back to normal, a new villain bent on revenge had stolen the power glove and had been changing Ian and Anthony's past, present and future, creating more time anomalies that threaten their existence once again. Things get personal as their friendship hangs in the balance.
1. Intro Part 2: SMOSH TO THE FUTURE

**SMOSH THROUGH TIME: The Exciting Middle Part**

**_Just as they thought that everything was back to normal, another problem surfaces, a new villain bent on revenge has stolen the duplicate power glove and had been changing Ian and Anthony's past, present and future, creating more time anomalies that threaten their existence once again._**

**_Things get personal as their friendship is hanging in the balance._**

**_Will they be able to work together again, stop the madman behind it all and prove that friendship will always win?_**

**_THEY'RE BACK IN ACTION._**

* * *

><p>This picks up where "SMOSH into TIME" ended, the book where Ian and Anthony's past were changed and they almost ended up fading into oblivion.<p>

Now this time someone has been changing their past, present and future and their existence is once again at stake. They must stop this evil doer from causing more damage as their friendship is tested...

**Will Ian and Anthony remain friends after this?**

**Will Billy save the day?**

**Will Ian ever learn how to use the Tranquilizer dart?(He probably won't.)**

I hope this'll be as popular as the first, and as good or even better than the first!

More Smosh characters will be crossing paths with our main dudes...

-Migz


	2. Chapter One: Here We Go Again

**Anthony Padilla**

Here we go again, we just got home from a crazy time travel adventure, and now we're back at it again. The DeLorean we were riding rose up in the air and with a blast of rockets from behind, we gained speed ala _Back to the Future_, well, what else would one expect from the exact same car from the movie?

The metal body of the car began glowing bright blue and blue sparks appeared on the front, followed by a huge flash of bright light, engulfing us. As soon as the light went away, we were now in another time, I think.

"Where are we?" Ian asked Teleporting Fat Guy.

"November 19, 2015." He replied.

"I thought we were going to the past?" Ian scratched his head, wrinkled his forehead in confusion.

"My glove has detected that the duplicate has made its way to the future." He checked his glove.

"Why here?" I joined in, trying to catch up with them; this is getting more borderline confusing. But, the date seems to ring a bell.

"We have to catch that thief before it's too late." He said, maneuvering the flying car around the telephone poles.

"Who is the thief?" I'm getting more lost, first of all, he just took us from our time only telling us that someone has been changing our past, but then I realized, we might have created another time anomaly after we have rescued our teenage selves.

"We don't know yet, but my Glove sensed a ripple in the space-time continuum that could ultimately destroy the entire universe." He stated.

_This is getting serious._

"Wait, _November 19_? Isn't that Smosh's 10th year anniversary?" Ian asked me.

"Yeah! You're right," I nodded, "-no wonder the date seemed familiar." I sighed.

We slowly hovered above an empty yard just a few blocks away from our house; slowly descending onto the grass as the wheels folded back into place. The engine gave one final rev before fading out. I kicked open the door and stepped out. Damn it was really crowded in there.

"So, where to?" I asked the driver.

"To your house." He replied.

"Let's go." Ian said. The two of us ran our way to the house, and it was around noon, it was damn hot, sweat marks began to appear on our shirts, I noticed Ian was panting.

"Bro, you REALLY should start working out." I said to Ian.

"Yeah I noticed, I've been eating too much donuts." He gasped for air.

We reached the house, at last. To our surprise, Teleporting Fat Guy was standing there not even sweating.

"Why the hell are you not sweating?" I asked TFG.

"I have my power glove, remember? I teleported." He showed off his glove.

"Why did you not take us with you?" I exhaled.

"You two idiots ran away quickly." He scolded.

"Ooooh" I suddenly realized. We should've waited for him to get out of the car earlier.

"Ian, you alright?" I turned my head to Ian, his eyes were wide and his mouth was wide open, he was staring at something.

"Ian?" I shook his shoulders.

"Anthony, look." He grabbed my chin and turned my head to face where he was looking.

My jaw dropped.

Our Smosh house was a wreck; the exterior paint had faded away, exposing raw concrete beneath it. The walls were heavily vandalized by gang emblems and various cheesy boyfriend girlfriend hearts all over. The roof also wasn't in good shape either; a huge chunk of the roof was missing from the top, showing its metal frame. Almost all of the windows of the house were either shattered or missing; it was a scary sight, made my heart sink.

"What happened here?" I was deeply saddened as we've lived in that house for so many years, and to see it crumble in front of our eyes was just heart-wrenching.

"Someone messed up." Teleporting Fat Guy said, his tone changed.

"Who?"

"Him." He said in a dark tone, raising a finger and pointing at someone behind us across the street. We quickly turned around; the man was wearing huge sunglasses on his face, wearing a turquoise jacket with lavender lines, with really short orange shorts, and a pair of white rubber shoes. His facial expression was blank, and he stood there motionless, looking back at us and holding something in his hand... _A Pink Lawn Flamingo._

"Hey! You damn neighbor!" Someone screamed from behind us, a man wearing a red cap and a blue and red checkered polo, with faded blue jeans and a pair of old black boots. He charged right through us and marched at The Neighbor.

"You better stop stealin' my damn pet flamingo or I'll have your ass whisked away to the bottom of the Mississippi!" He shouted as he snatched the flamingo from the Neighbor's grip then leaving the area. The Neighbor didn't even flinch or speak.

"_That Damn Neighbor_?" I asked Teleporting Fat Guy. We both turned to him, he was nowhere in sight, only his glove remained.

"Where the hell is he?" Ian said, picking up the glove then wearing it again. We decided to confront the neighbor ourselves. We crossed the road to get to him.

"Do you have the power glove duplicate?" Ian asked politely. The neighbor did not answer.

"Why is Teleporting Fat Guy pointing at you then?"

The Neighbor did not say anything.

"You better start talking or we'll beat the crap outta you." Ian said, closing his fists.

**Ian Hecox**

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Someone shouted from behind us. We spun on the spot and saw a policeman, in regular blue uniform. He has a thick bushy mustache and a very pissed off look, Sergeant Anous.

"Sgt. Anous?" I said.

"Why are you molesting that poor man?!" He aimed his trusty gun. "Look what you've done! you've scared him too much he couldn't talk!"

"We haven't done anything to him!" I bellowed, looking at my glove and examining the other buttons.

"BULLSHIT!" Anous pulled the trigger; I closed my eyes, Anthony screamed like a girl.

Then everything went quiet.

I opened my eyes again and saw a bullet a few inches from me, aimed directly between my eyes but it was stuck in thin air. I looked around, Anous was frozen, with his angry face and shooting pose. Anthony was cowering in fear like a little girl, his hands folded under his chin, frozen expression looked like he had eaten something sour, mouth gaping open and eyes scrunched in the middle of his face. The Neighbor, well, still stood like a statue. I checked the glove on my hand and a little blue button right above the number keys was lit up, the _Freeze_ button.

"That was a close one." I sighed, moving out of the way of the bullet's path then placing my hand on Anthony's shoulder, pressing the button again, unfreezing him.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Anthony was still screaming after I had unfrozen him.

"Anthony!" I shook his shoulder.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"ANTHONY!" I shouted, giving him a slap in the face, "It's alright."

"What happened?" He trembled, rubbing his cheek with the red mark of where my hand had just been.

"I pressed the Freeze button."

"Great Timing." Anthony smirked.

"Let's get to the neighbor's house; he might have the glove in there." I said, pulling Anthony away from the area.

"Wait!" Anthony stopped in his tracks.

"What?"

"Before you unfreeze them." He grinned, the expression in his face show signs of doing something really bad.

Anthony walked back to Sgt. Anous and tied shoelaces together, then pulled his pants down and exposing his heart printed boxer shorts. After that, grabbed a shaver and shaved off the policeman's bushy mustache clean off his lips.

"Why did you do that?" I asked him.

"For shooting at me everytime." He replied, drawing a penis doodle at the cop's cheeks. It was actually funny.

"Alright man, you've had your fun, let's go."

"Yeah." He dropped the pen and gave the policeman an almighty kick in the crotch.

"That's gonna leave a mark." I cringed. We ran far away from them. We hid behind a thick bush, then I pressed the button again, resuming everything.

"AAAAHHHH!" Sgt. Anous screamed, falling to his knees and faceplanting on the ground, clutching his manhood. Anthony and me let out a snicker. Alright, we're seen enough, it's time to get moving.


	3. Chapter Two: That Damn Home Invasion

**Anthony Padilla**

We walked for a couple of blocks and found The Neighbor's house. It wasn't too big, the house was just like any normal house here in Sacramento, but what made it stand out is that the front yard has a lot of lawn gnomes and lawn flamingoes. The front yard one huge bush trimmed and shaped like a flamingo, dude's got some serious obsession with flamingoes.

"This must be the place." Ian said.

"Well duh idiot, what gave it away? Is it the flamingo shaped bush or the shit load of lawn flamingoes?" I said. Sometimes Ian is dumb.

"W-wait, what was the plan again?"

"We're gonna check if the Neighbor has the other glove, Teleporting Fat Guy said that it's him, right?" Then a question popped in my head: _Where is Teleporting Fat Guy?_

"How are we gonna do this?"

"Just break in."

"You should've unfrozen them after we've broken into his house. Freeze them again."

"I can't" Ian said, looking as the Glove, "It needs to recharge."

"See Ian, that's why I hate you sometimes, your plans are always half-baked and pointless." Ian looked down, I offended him but it's true. "—for how long does it need to charge?" I asked.

"Eight hours."

"EIGHT HOURS?! Why that long?!" I yelled.

"That feature drained the whole battery."

"How did you know?" I raised and eyebrow.

"I read the manual." Ian took out a Power Glove Manual behind him.

"No one reads the manual, reading's for pussies." I laughed.

"Could we just break in?" Ian sighed.

"Let's make it quick." We approached the front door, Ian reached for the doorbell. DING DONG! I slapped his hand, "Why did you do that?" I asked him.

"I was being polite." Ian smiled.

"You idiot, we're breaking in right?"

"Oh yeah, sorry." We went around the house, looking for an open window to gain access. Bingo, we're in and it led us directly to the living room. The inside was really messy, from towering piles of used clothes to stinky basketful of sweaty gym socks. I wonder what other beautiful sights are here, and by beautiful I meant the exact opposite.

"Split up and look for the glove." Ian said. I took the living room while he went upstairs. I ventured into the kitchen, the counter is made up of yellow tiles with an overhead cabinet and a cabinet under it and the place was really messy, a lot of cereal boxes and untidy bowls and utensils, does he even know how to do chores? I don't wanna know. Looking around, wow, the place is really messy. Gross.

I passed through a doorway, now I'm in the dining room; at the center it has a wooden rectangular mahogany table with four chairs around it. Surprisingly, the room was not as dirty as the other two rooms. There were plates on the table, set up like someone will have a feast here.

"At least he has one part of his house clean." I murmured. I kept on walking. Then a stinging pain came from my right foot, making me jump and clutch my foot, hopping around like an injured animal.

"FUCK!" I let out an almost inaudible curse while placing my hand on a stack of boxes to regain my balance. It hurts. I looked at my foot; it was a really long nail, buried in my shoe that has stabbed my foot.

I pulled the nail out to find out that it was almost two inches long sticking out from the ground, I skipped a few steps, but then I felt something hollow under my left foot, like something was directly under me, like a door. I was right, it was a door on the floor, leading to somewhere beneath the house.

"Hope it leads to his secret lair or something." I mumbled, pulling the trapdoor open. There were lights already on in the room, illuminating the inside, it was a basement. Cautiously, I placed one foot down a rung of the ladder, then another and getting deeper into the basement. I shut the door above me once I was inside.

It was clean, the walls were painted white and well maintained, in contrast to the living room, the place was empty, not a thing in sight. Nothing to see here.

THUD! CRASH! The crash came from above me, I climbed up the ladder and pushed the door. It won't open. Something was blocking the way.

_ I'm trapped._

"IAN!" I yelled, punching on the wooden door. No answer. He has to find me or notice that I'm gone.

**Ian Hecox**

Every step I made on the stairs made a creak, so much for being quiet. I reached the second floor, it was a hallway. I saw the far end of the hallway, and there it has a spotlight pointed at a huge painting of the Neighbor with the pink flamingo clutched in his hands, accurate representation of him. The hallway has two doors on each side, all of them were closed.

"It must be here somewhere." I said.

I took the first door to my left and turned the knob, with little effort, it swung open, revealing a bathroom. As soon as I opened it, a smell of poop stung my nose. The bathroom was made of white tiles, but it was dirty, proof that the Neighbor doesn't like to do chores. The toilet bowl was stinky; I think he forgot to flush.

"Damn." I reached for the flush, pushing it down. The toilet started making weird noises. _Oh God not again. _The foul content of the toilet started rising up to the edge, spilling brown liquid on the messy floor.

"Why does this keep happening to me?!" I ranted. I closed the door quickly; I do not wanna see this.

Next was the door opposite the bathroom, it was also unlocked. It was a closet, filled with a lot of turquoise jackets, orange short shorts and white rubber shoes. Hmm, pretty much like a cartoon character wearing the same clothes every single day. Then something caught my eye, sticking out from the piles of white shoes on the floor, gray fingers. I kneeled and picked it up, it made my heart leap.

It was the Power Glove.

"Holy shit! Alright!" I yelled, twirling the glove over my head and spinning around myself in excitement. I checked the glove, and it looked exactly like mine. This is it. I pushed one of the buttons, but nothing happened. _What the frick?_

I pressed another one, still nothing.

"Why the hell isn't this working?!" I was furious, pressing more buttons. I turned the glove around in my hand, now I can see the palm. There was a small label near the thumb of the glove, so I also checked mine, but mine hasn't got one. I looked closer on the written text and it said:

_MADE IN CHINA._

I gasped what an incredible twist. I rolled my eyes in disbelief and threw the glove back into the closet, "I hate cheap knockoffs" I said.

Then the bathroom made a scary rumble.

The next door was the one to my left, next to the rumbling bathroom. It was unlocked also. It was a room dedicated to Pink Flamingoes, from paintings to lawn flamingoes to mini keychain flamingoes. This guy has some serious problem. The place was surprisingly clean, mainly because it's his prized possession. I went in the room, looking for the Glove, but I was unlucky, no sign of it whatsoever.

Last but not the least, the final door. I pushed it open, it was a bedroom and the first thing that caught my eye is that someone was lying on the bed. It was a beautiful girl, probably in her mid twenties, wearing a short almost see-through silk dress. She has long brunette hair, pouting lips and inviting eyes, not to mention her massive boobies. She looked at me holding a seductive pose.

"You like what you see?" She softly said, licking her upper lip which turned me on.

"DADDY LIKE!" I pulled up my shirt.

"Well that's gross." The girl said, quickly transforming into The Neighbor, still in the seductive pose.

"AAAAAHHH!" I screamed, with my shirt halfway off of me, at my neck and at my wrists. I quickly ran away from the bedroom and down the stairs. "ANTHONY!" I cried out. I yanked open the front door.

"FREEZE!" It was Sgt. Anous, standing at the outside, mustache-less, aiming his gun at me. I quickly raised

both my hands.

"Officer! There was a mistake!" I pleaded.

"Shut your trap Criminal!" He cut me off, "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing."

"Sgt. Jasshol, watch this criminal, while I go check upstairs." Anous said. Then another policeman turned my around and handcuffed my hands behind me. I saw Sgt. Anous climb the stairs and into the hallway. He went to the first door to his left, kicking it open.

BOOM!

"AAAAARGH!" Sgt. Anous screamed, running down the stairs, covered in poop. I tried holding back my laugh, it was too funny.

"Take him to the station!" Anous said.

"Wait! You can't take me! I'm innocent!" I yelled.

"Breaking in a house is called innocent? You make me sick!"

"Maybe because there's a turd near your mouth? Maybe that's what making you sick?" There actually was one. Sgt. Anous gagged and partially vomited on the yard. He shoved me into the back seat and he and his partner rode on the first row.

_I'm going to jail._


	4. Chapter Three: Two's Company

**Anthony Padilla**

"Help! Ian!" I punched on the door dozens of times, but to no avail the door was made of thick wood. I have to find another way out. I went back down the basement, looking for another exit, all I saw was a small window. I tried squeezing myself through it, but only my head could fit.

I hope Ian will notice that I'm gone and he'll come looking for me. I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted at the top of my lungs.

"IAAAAN!"

Then I heard someone above me, "Take him to the station!" A man with a raspy voice said.

"Wait! You can't take me! I'm innocent!" I recognized that voice; it was Ian's, looks he's caught by the police. Shit.

_Great. How am I gonna get out of here? Now that Ian's going to jail. Who will save me now?_

* * *

><p>Day One in captivity, Ian has been caught by the police; I'm helpless here, slumped on the floor, still trapped, starving and cold. Then my stomach growled. I need to eat something. I looked around the room and saw two cans of dog food at the far end of the corner.<p>

_It'll do, I'm fucking starving._

I stood up and went to the other side of the room, picked up the cans and looked at the expiration dates.

_Best Before 8-21-2014_

_Best Before 3-30-2013_

"Eww, doesn't the neighbor throw away the expired cans?" I was disgusted, but it should do. I pulled out my pocket knife and sliced open one of the cans. The smell stung my nose, it almost made me barf.

I placed the can near my mouth and lifted the bottom of the can, and drank the mushy food. I have to tell you it did not taste good, it's liver flavor but it's the only way I'll last long enough for someone to find me.

* * *

><p>I don't know how long I've been here, I'm completely out of supplies, I should not have eaten all of that dog food in one day. I smell of sweat and barf, my triforce shirt's all messed up and my pants are ripped open in various places. I looked at my reflection at my pocket knife; gee, I look like a caveman. This is crazy, I'm going nuts in here, nobody knows that I've gone missing.<p>

I decided to record my last goodbyes. I pulled my phone from my pocket. Then I realized "Wait, I had my phone all this time, why didn't I just call for help? Stupid." I slapped my forehead. However, it was no use as there was no signal in the basement.

Oh well I better start recording, I fired up the camera app and turned on the front facing camera, pressing the record button.

"To who shall find me...or what's left of me, please tell my future wife that I love her so much, and that I'll always be by her side. Babe, I love you so much, I'm sorry if I will not make it to our baby Mogwai's first birthday." I sobbed.

"_Ian Andrew Hecox_, thanks for being a great best friend and this time I mean it, for the adventures we had and for being there for me when I need your help. I hope you're doing fine in prison, and I hope you never pick up the soap in the shower." I snickered at the last part.

"Ian's mom, you're hot." She is.

Then at the corner of my eye, I saw something move on the wall, there was actually a secret compartment on the wall. A small part of the concrete, just as small as an air vent popped off the wall, exposing a passageway. All I saw inside the hole was pitch black, then a rattling sound came from the dark hole, this is one freaky shit, feels like I was in a horror movie. I scrunched up in a corner far away from the passageway, and called out,

"Hello?" I trembled, the rattling continued, it grew closer and closer, the lights in the basement went out, only the light emitted by the sun came from the small window above me illuminated the room, it was freaking scary. Then the sound continued, but this time it was closer, it's a few inches away from my face.

I was shaking uncontrollably, then I remembered my phone's flashlight. My trembling hands fumbled for my phone in my pocket. I turned the flashlight on, to scare the rattling away from me. The light shone on a face. I squealed like a girl. It was a man with a huge sombrero with a bushy mustache; he was wearing a checkered red and blue polo and faded blue jeans, kneeling on the ground, as if trying to examine me.

"Hola Señor." He greeted, in a trying hard Mexican accent, but I can tell that he sounds like a Hillbilly. It was _Benny Jean_.

"Benny Jean?" I said.

"Anthony?" He immediately recognized me and drew closer to me almost nose to nose, his blue eyes staring back into my brown eyes.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked.

"We was gonna sneak in and recover my flamingo from that damn neighbor."

"We?" Another rattling sound came from behind him, I shone the light behind Benny Jean, the man was wearing a cap too, but he was wearing a camo long sleeve and a blue denim jacket over it, and also faded blue jeans, and military boots.

"Why are we dressed like this Benny Jean?" The man's squeaky voice spoke.

"Just follow my lead, Cletus." Benny Jean said to this Cletus guy.

"Why are you dressed like Mexicans?" I asked.

"It's Taco Tuesday." He fixed his mustache.

"But it's Thursday."

Benny Jean froze, "Never mind that." He said.

"How long have I been here?" I rubbed my eyes to clear up my blurred vision.

"Depends, when did ya get here?" I searched my memory for the answer.

"November 19, 2015, at around 10 in the morning."

"You've only been stuck here for Ten Hours." Benny Jean said.

_Wait what?!_

"I've been here for just a mere ten hours?!" It felt like weeks had passed, "Seriously?!"

"Yeah." Benny Jean showed me his watch, he wasn't bluffing:

_11-19-2015, 18:34_

"Please stop breathing on my face!" I shouted, "Jeez, when was the last time you brushed your teeth?" His breath smelled like rotten meat.

"When was the video contest we entered?"

"Gross, that was way back in 2013." I rose back up to my feet and pushed Benny Jean aside.

"Outta my way! I'M FREE!" I shouted, diving head first into the hole, like an Olympic swimmer, then something hit my head hard, creating a loud bang.

"Ooohhh" the two hillbillies cringed.

"I forgot to tell you there's another door." He was right; I dove right into a wooden door.

"Thanks for the tip." I rubbed my aching head then pulled the door open, "Thanks Guys." I waved goodbye at them as I shut the wooden door.

"Wait!" Benny Jean screamed at me.

"What?" I peeped in again.

"Uh, I forgot." He said. I sighed and closed the door. The passageway was small but only for a few inches; I crawled through it then found myself standing again. The tunnel was poorly lit but it's like a mine shaft, with different corridors leading to different places. Wow, I didn't know Sacramento has secret tunnels.

I found myself in front of dividing tunnels; one goes straight and the other one going to my left. Then I heard Benny Jean mumble from the basement.

"I should've warned him about the dogs." _What dogs?!_

A loud barking sound came from the poorly lit tunnel, there were many of them. Getting closer, I saw at least three of them coming at me from the corridor in front of me. I should run.

Now.

I took the tunnel to my left and ran as fast as I could, that treadmill workout at the gym paid off, I was outrunning the pursuing dogs. Another yield is approaching, I took another left, I looked back and saw that no one was chasing me. Phew.

I finally stopped running, and stopped at a two way corridor, but the barking resumed, this time, it was coming from all of the tunnels, approaching me. This is it, I braced for my impending doom. The barks were louder, it was deafening. I could only scream.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" I closed my eyes.

Then something bit my left pants' side, tugging on it fiercely, while something tiny jumped on my left leg and started moving up and down. I opened my eyes and looked down...

_You've gotta be kidding me._

On my left leg, a Wiener Dog was tugging on my pants; on my right a Chihuahua was humping my leg. Oh God, I saw his lipstick. They look harmless, too cute to be scary.

"Aww." I said in awe, picking up the Wiener Dog, "You're not scary." I said in a cute kawaii voice. The dog looked at me with his huge soulful eyes, it made my heart sink, it's so cute. The dog's long nose sniffed my mouth and started licking it, he must've smelled the dog food I ate and now there's this dog French kissing me. Eew.

"Alright." I put the dog down, "Ok doggies, show me the way outta here and I'll give you treats." Luckily I still have a can of Dog Food from my jacket pocket.  
>"Now do we have a deal? As if you understand me." I continued. The dogs walked in front of me, guiding me out of the tunnel. Finally at the end of the corridor I saw daylight.<p>

"Thanks Guys!" I tossed the can of dog food at them, their tails wagged, ran at it started munching, taking turns in stuffing their heads in the can.

For some reason, they reminded me of me and Ian, best friends till the end.

I ran towards the light, leaving the two dogs in their meal. The light became smaller as I approached it, it shrunk, almost the size of a toilet seat. I peeped my head through the hole and finally got a whip of fresh air, but I was surrounded by a wall of wood. I looked around the place; I saw a roll of toilet paper hanging beside the hole my head was peeping through. I'm in an outhouse.

"Shit!" Literally.

The door in front of me opened, and a boy with a red and yellow propeller hat wearing a red Pokemon shirt stepped in, with his fly down, ready to release the flood. He jumped the moment he saw me, his eyes widened in horror.

"BRENT! What have you been eating?!" The boy screamed in a squeaky man-child voice. I quickly raised an index to my lips, making a shushing gesture.

"Shhhh, Please help me out." I pleaded to him.

"I don't usually help things that come from my toilet, but you look unthreatening." The boy agreed, taking the whole piece of wood off me, allowing me to get through.

"I'm Billy Hamburger, what's your name?" The boy introduced himself, extending out a hand.

"I'm Anthony Padilla." I said, grabbing his hand and climbing out of the hole.

"Anthony Padilla? From Smosh?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh my God! Dreams do come true!" The kid leapt in happiness, his propeller hat started spinning around.

"What?"

"I've always wanted to meet you someday, now I have, even if you came from the toilet."

"Wow." That's all I can say.

"Am I dreaming?" Billy ran outside the outhouse and I followed, he ran into a pole head first, he fell and shrieked in pain.

"Dude, you okay?" I helped him up.

"Just making sure I wasn't dreaming." Billy rubbed his head.

"Do you have any tools you got there?" I asked.

"What kind?"

"Something to help my friend break out of jail."

"You're in luck Mr. Padilla, I happen to have a Prison Break Starter Kit." Billy showed me a box with a drawing of a jail cell window and a huge text saying:

_PRISON BREAK STARTER KIT._

"Whoa, they actually sell this?" I grabbed the box and read some instructions at the back, "Thanks Billy"

"Anything for Anthony Padilla."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go." I walked past him towards the road.

"You're going now? But we-we just met." He started sobbing.

"I-" I stuttered.

"Bu-but You just came here and now—" Billy burst in to tears. I couldn't break a young boy's heart.

"You wanna come along? And save Ian?" I hesitantly said.

"You really want me to come with you?" Billy sobbed.

"Yeah, let's save Ian." I smiled at him.

"YAAAAAAY!" He trembled then jumped again and grabbed my arm, "Let's go save bowly! Onwards my good man!" Billy raised an arm in the air, like napoleon leading his army.


	5. Chapter Four: Smosh is Gone

**Anthony Padilla**

We have tools to break Ian out of prison, but the question is, where did they take him? And why did I agree in taking Billy with me? And did he just fart? I could smell something stinky.

"So where are we going, Anthony?" Billy asked.

"To our house," I replied, that was my first thought, I need to know what happened to our house and who did it. My thoughts quickly jumped to conclusions as to who is responsible for this mess, it couldn't be Adrian because I've wiped his memory clean. I scratched my head, maybe, just maybe. And why would Teleporting Fat Guy accuse the Neighbor? What does he have against us?

Billy and I finally reached my rundown house, seeing the house like this breaks my heart.

"Whoa, what happened here?" The boy asked.

"That's what we're gonna find out." I quickly made my way to the front door and yanked the door open, with little effort the entire door unhinged completely and started falling directly on me, like a huge domino. I jumped to my left and avoided the door. I never heard any thud, wow, a door that heavy won't make a sound?

"Help." I heard a whimper, from under the door, I dodged but Billy hadn't, now under the door, oops.

"Oh crap, sorry." I apologized, squatting down then lifting the door to let Billy crawl out.

"I'm okay." He crawled out between my squatted legs, as soon as I saw his feet crawl past under me, I let go of the door, falling down on the ground with a loud thud that it should've made.

"You alright dude?" I helped Billy up.

"Yeah." He dusted off himself. I pulled my phone and turned on the flashlight then stepped inside the house, the only source of light was from my phone as it was a dark and moonless night. I moved my phone around the place, the archway leading to the living room grew out of the dark, lit by my flashlight and beside it was the huge picture of the Eiffel Tower. Everything was broken, aged or heavily vandalized. The cream carpet beneath our feet was stained with all sorts of things that I don't wanna find out and there was a chalk outline drawn on the carpet resembling a person. A foul smell of poop, barf and liquor filled the air, I had to take my scarf out of my pocket and tie it around my nose and mouth, it's irritating my nose.

"Smells like my brother Brent's room." Billy remarked. I stepped inside, with Billy in tow, he grabbed tightly on my shirt.

"I'm scared, Anthony." The boy squeaked. A soft creak came from Hallway.

"Don't worry, I am too." I trembled as well. _What did we get ourselves in?_

We passed the archway and were now in the Living Room, I turned to my right and there's the kitchen counter, the overhead cabinets were missing some doors, the fridge too was missing, the white tiles on the counter were shattered. I slowly moved my flashlight, like the Slenderman Game, around the kitchen, examining every nook and cranny of the counter.

"Nothing here." I mumbled, still searching. I spun around my spot in the kitchen slowly. I turned my back on the kitchen counter and was face to face with a faceless figure, it made my heart leap to my throat.

"Slenderman!" I quickly reacted and gave him a right hook, sending him down the floor.

"Ow." Slenderman reached for his chin and pulled it, turned out it was Billy in a mask.

"Damn it Billy! Why do you have to scare me like that?!" I was relieved and angry at the same time.

"Sorry, I found this lying on the ground, looks like a mask." He stood up and showed me the mask.

"Wait, what the hell is that?" It looks kinda odd, it's made of a rubbery material.

"It looks like a white sack." He stretched it and it was slightly longer for a mask. I looked behind Billy and saw a huge square wrapper and read the brand on it:

_MAGNUM CONDOM XXL_

"OH GOD! That's not a mask!" I smacked the thing away from his grip. I could almost vomit on my scarf, it sent shivers down my spine, "Put it away."

I shook it off and went back into the Living Room. The LCD TV was missing, leaving a brown outline on the wall where it should've been. The blinds on the glass door were incomplete, and the glass door was shattered. Our beautiful black couch was torn in various places, exposing the stuffing underneath. The googly-eyed black and white superhero portrait hanging above the couch was now on the floor, and above the couch was now filled with writings, the sight of the house brought a tear to my eye.

"Oh my God!" Billy screamed behind me, I spun and faced him.

"What?" Pointing the flashlight at him, the scarf around my face flew as I spoke.

"I love Pokémon!" He said, hugging my old dirty Pikachu pillow, his mouth curved to a smile and his hand petting the pillow.

"My God, Billy, you wanna help, right? Then look for clues." I rolled my eyes and went into the hallway between the Living Room and the Kitchen. I ducked under the giant mustache over the archway which was barely hanging on the wall, with Billy still pulling on my shirt.

"You know, if you pull it even more it won't be size small anymore." I said to the boy.

"Sorry, I'm just scared, and look, I peed my pants." He even showed the pee stain on his jeans.

"Gross, dude." I shone my flashlight on the wall to my left, there was a close up individual picture of Ian's face, it was surprisingly intact compared to the other things in this house. Then I noticed my close up portrait hanging beside Ian's: the glass on my picture frame was smashed, as if it was punched by someone.

We were now in the hallway leading to our rooms, to my right was the door to the garage and the door in front of me was our editing room, or what's left of it. To my left were Ian's room and my room.

Then the lights flickered on, lighting the whole house. "I figured that you need the lights." Billy smiled; he was near the door to the garage, one hand on the switch.

"There was power here the entire time?" "Looks like it." I facepalmed.

"Split up, I'll check the rooms, you check the garage." I said.

"Okay! I'm going on an Adventure!" Billy cheered and skipped to the garage. I proceeded to our rooms, first I opened the door to my room and switched the lights on, it was filled with writings, all in black ink and with the same phrase:

SMOSH IS GONE

What? Our channel is gone? How? I thought we fixed it? I'm confused, REALLY CONFUSED. I burst into Ian's room; it has the same writings on it.

Then my phone vibrated three times.

**Billy Hamburger**

I pushed open the garage door, it was really dark in there, my hand reached for the light switch that should be on the wall next to me but I can't feel anything. The moonlight shone on the wall directly opposite to where I was standing, the light switch. I stepped into the garage completely blind, with both my arms swinging in front of me feeling for solid objects, me feet also did the same, slowly inching my way across the place. Thoughts clouded up my mind, scary images mostly, curse you brain. My heart pounded in my chest, like it would jump out of my ribs or something.

I raised my left foot forward, slowly putting it down on the ground, then my right foot followed but landed on something gooey and sticky, I was pretty sure it wasn't the floor. I wiggled my foot from the disgusting thing but it's stuck, I decided to drag it with me and deal with it later.

I made another step, I stepped on something soft and it squeaked, making me jump. I continued to drag my stuck right foot, then I tripped on a beam on the floor, causing me to hit the ground face first. I rose back up to my feet and hit my head on a metal object. CLANG! I rubbed my head and placed my other hand on a table and then the table gave way, collapsing and taking me with it. I was now on my back lying on the floor.

"Owie." I cried. Then a ball fell on my face, it was a soft ping pong ball and didn't hurt that much, but it was followed by a box, landing squarely on my head, it had some weight to it, then followed by a basketball, a bowling pin, then a clothes iron.

"Is that it?" I said, relieved that it's over, I think my skull is damaged. Then a huge trophy fell, directly on my face. I stood back up dizzyingly, hand holding my head, I might suffer brain damage. I walked to the switch still with the gooey object stuck to my foot.

Finally I switched the lights on, I saw my foot stuck in a can of wood glue, so I pulled that out but it's stuck. There was a mirror near the switch and I looked at my reflection, a boy with a red and yellow propeller hat with a rectangular red mark on his face, the part where the trophy made contact.

The place was empty, just full of cobwebs and stuff. In the corner of my eye, saw something move from behind a stack of boxes.

I cautiously walked to the spot, "Is someone there?" I called out. Something rose from behind the boxes, a huge grey circular figure with two pairs of limbs; it stepped into the light and revealed more of its appearance. On the center of the figure was a cutout where there is a face peeping through it, painted grey and grinning at me. It was actually a man wearing grey tights; he opened his mouth to and said in a high pitched tone.

"I'M GONNA MOLEST YOU."


	6. Chapter Five: Sabotaged

**Anthony Padilla**

"ANTHONY! AAAHHHHHH!" I heard Billy scream from the other side of the house, I quickly went out of Ian's room and walked to the door of the garage and saw him running out of the place dragging a can of wood glue. I saw his face, terrified and crying, his pants wetter than before, running at me.

"What is it?!" I yelled. He ran past me and into the hallway to the living room, I glanced back inside the garage and saw a round figure skipping merrily out of the garage and into the hallway, the light illuminated the figure, I immediately recognized him, _Molester Moon._

"I'M GONNA MOLEST YOU!" Molester Moon said in a high pitched tone.

"Oh jeebus!" I shrieked and ran after Billy, who was limping because of the can. Molester Moon was still skipping after us with that evil grin, and chanting,

"I'M GONNA MOLEST YOU."

We reached the living room, I ran past Billy. I heard a thud.

"Anthony!" I turned back to see Billy lying on his belly on the carpet, reaching out a hand, "Help me!"

The Molester Moon was gaining on him. I grabbed his hand and dragged him, but his feet got caught by the Moon and it became a tug of war.

"Don't let go of me please!" Billy pled, crying heavily. Molester Moon pulled him away, but I pulled back.

"I won't!" I pulled hard.

"I'm gonna molest you." The molester chanted, pulling Billy towards him.

"Please no!" Billy was sobbing loud.

"No!" I screamed and pulled Billy with all my strength. Then Billy's feet popped off his shoes, sending us flying to the front door, I quickly dragged the boy outside and quickly got him up to his feet. We stopped on our front yard, I looked back.

"He can't get to us now." I said happily.

"Why?" Billy asked.

"Because last time he got stuck between the doors." I said as Molester Moon skipped near the doorway, "This is the part when he gets jammed." I chuckled.

But Molester Moon turned to his side and went smoothly through the door, he turned back to face us.

"I finally got that figured out, bitch." He said, still in his high pitched voice.

"RUUUUUUN!" I bellowed, Billy was no longer beside me but a few feet away, running.

"Way ahead of ya!" Billy shouted. I ran also, still with Molester Moon chasing us, there must be something to slow him down. Then Billy stopped in his tracks.

"Billy! Why aren't you running?" I said.

"Why run when we can fly?!" Billy stood on tip toes and spun his propeller hat with his hand; the molester is gaining on us.

"I don't have time for games Billy!" I pulled his hand but he stood there closed eyes and concentrating, "Fine!" I dropped his hand and ran.

This time things are getting serious, Molester Moon wasn't skipping anymore, he was sprinting after me. "I'm gonna molest you!" He cackled, gaining on me, it was scary as fuck, my cold sweat dripping past on my face and maybe this is the first time he will catch me…and probably the last.

Then he grabbed my arms, it was Game Over for me. I closed my eyes and covered my face, accepting my fate. I was lifted off the ground, my feet could only feel air, no solid ground, maybe it's time to open my eyes. I think I died quickly than expected.

"Whoa! Did I die quickly?" I said.

"No silly! We're flying!" Turned out it was Billy who caught me by the arms, and lifted me off the ground.

"Weeeeee!" Billy shouted. I looked down, Molester Moon was jumping angrily and cursing, I flipped him the bird,

"Screw you Molester Moon! Hahaha" I laughed at him, and sticking my tongue out.

"Told you I could fly!" Indeed he can.

"Thanks Billy! You're the best!" I said, thanking him a few more. The Molester gave up and returned to the rundown house. I think we're safe, for now.

"So where to?" Billy asked. I could see the whole city of Sacramento, it was a beautiful sight, I could see cars driving by open roads and people as small as an ant. I looked for the big oak tree, where the De Lorean was parked.

"Over there!" I pointed to the big tree.

"Alright, landing now." Billy slowly descended, until I can feel solid ground again.

Billy also landed swiftly, planting both two feet on the ground; he saw the silver DMC 12.

"Whoa what is this thing?" The boy asked, examining the metal body of the car.

"That my friend is a _Time Machine_." I said.

"A time machine? Oh boy! I wanna machine through time!" He squeaked. _Whut?_

"We're gonna use it to go back in time to know where they took Ian."

"Count me in!" Billy cheered. I pulled open the gull wing doors on the driver's side of the car, hopped in then opened the passenger side to let Billy in.

"Okay, now if I remember this correctly—" A beeping sound was heard, I looked at the dashboard and saw an indicator saying:

_MR. FUSION_

_EMPTY._

I remembered the movie that they refill it by using trash, I quickly stepped out of the car, ran to the big plastic trash bin on the wall near the car and lifted the lid. A group of flies spread about the bin, swarming around my face. I tried swatting them away but all I can hear are buzzing noises. I managed to get them away from my face, then a stinky odor stung my nose.

"What are you doing?" the boy asked.

"Looking for fuel." I answered.

"Through that?"

"Yeah, It's an eco-friendly car." I walked nearer to the trash bin, which was tall; the height was at my chest level.

"This looks better in the movies than in real life." I remarked, placing a clip on my nose. The top of the bin had a big Styrofoam board that can't fit in the fuel tank; I took it off and threw it aside. I saw a can on top of the pile of trash in the container, but it was far from my grasp, I need to go in.

"Billy, can you hold my legs while I dive in the bin?" I asked Billy.

"I don't think I can lift you." He replied.

"Fine, how about I hold you by the legs and you go down there?" I thought.

"Yay! I'm going dumpster diving!" I motioned him to get in. Billy went in head first into the bin while I held his two feet and dipped him deeper inside.

"Found anything yet?" I asked.

"Yeah, here's a banana peel." Billy's voice echoed in the trash bin, reaching out a hand with a banana peel, "Here's a can."

"Hey, here's a-OOOW!" Billy screamed from inside the trash bin.

"What is it?"

"OOOOOOOW!" The boy cried out.

I scoffed, "Why didn't I think of this before?" I let go of Billy's leg, making him fall face first on the garbage.

"What are you doing?" Billy's feet wiggled. I pushed the bin causing it to tip and fall over and spill its contents. Billy let out a cry of pain. I grabbed hold on his legs again and dragged him outside the bin.

The boy looked messy, his pale face was stained with dark spots, the bright red T-shirt he's wearing was now very dirty.

"Whoa, that was cool! Can we do it again?"

"What happened in there?"

Billy showed me his right hand, his fingers were purple, caught in a mousetrap, I pried it open and freed him. I noticed something stuck on his right cheek, an oval shaped piece of paper with white tape on each end, one side was stuck to his face.

"What the hell is that Billy?" I touched the tip and lifted it, it has blood on it, and not just any blood.

"Damn!" I tore the sanitary napkin off his cheeks.

"What's that?" The boy was clueless, I whispered into his hear and told him about it.

"EEEEEEEEWWW." Billy shivered in disgust. I quickly gathered up a bunch of rubbish and ran back to the car, going to the rear of it and looking for the Mr. Fusion container. I spotted a long white plastic object at the rear-center of the car, like a tall top hat, with a little red tab on the bottom which was holding it it place, there, on its side read_ 'Mr. Fusion Energy Reactor'_. Its color made it stand out of all the grey and black machineries on the rear. I removed the red tab on the bottom and pushed the Mr. Fusion backwards letting out a soft hissing sound, opening a small hole to put the fuel in. I emptied my shirt full of trash into the small hole, forcefully shoving those that couldn't fit easily. After a few minutes of shoving down things at its mouth, we're all set.

"We're good to go, get back in the car, Billy." I said to Billy.

"Yeah!" Billy ran to the passenger seat. I took my place on the driver's side and turned on the time circuits, twisting a small handle on near the stick shift, the circuits made a loud noise, I suppose it's on.

"Yeah let's do this!" I grabbed the wheel, then something from behind us sparked.

BSHHHH! The sound of malfunctioning came from behind us, I glanced at the rear view mirror and saw sparks flying from behind us. I looked back, and saw that the glowing Y-shaped thingy was missing,_ the Flux Capacitor_, like it was forcefully removed, leaving a square shaped cavity in the middle of the car, the wires were cut, emitting sparks. It's the most important part that makes this car work. We were _SABOTAGED_.


	7. Chapter Six: Saving Ian

**Anthony Padilla**

Great, the time machine's been sabotaged. How can we save Ian now? I banged my head on the wheel in frustration, honking the horn.

"Why the long face, Anthony?" Billy asked me, I lifted my head from the wheel and looked at him. He looked concerned but then was easily distracted, "Ooh! What does this button do?" Billy pressed a red button beside the steering wheel. Mechanical sounds came from the car's four tires, the wheels folded downwards, next thing we knew the car was hovering a feet from the ground.

"Billy!" I slapped his hand.

"Sorry, let's save Ian!" He cheered.

"We can't save him, the time machine's busted." I frowned.

"How about we ask Ian where they're taking him?"

"We can't ask him, he's gone."

"No he's not; he's right over there in that police car." He wiggled in his seat, pointing outside.

"Billy, you're hallucinating again." Billy's expression turned from happy to slightly angry, he grabbed my jaw and turned my head sideways to my left.

"Look." Billy said. There was a police car parked across the road from where we're parked, a black and white police cruiser, with thick metal bumpers and red and blue emergency lights on the roof. The side doors were lit by the lamp light, showing an emblem:

City of Sacramento

Police Department

I looked at the people inside the car, there were two people on the front row: a half shaven policeman, face buried in a donut. The other cop was also munching on a donut. My eyes moved to the back seat, they have a captured criminal that appears to be wearing a helmet, head tilted down.

A car slowly passed by the cruiser, its headlights fully lighting the interior of the car, I saw their faces clearly. The cop behind the wheel was Sgt. Anous without his mustache, his blue uniform stained brown, dipping his donut in his coffee. His partner, thick bushy eyebrows, and sipping on a cup.

The light shone on the captured criminal, his head turned to face us, finally I saw his full features, he has blue eyes and a crooked nose, thicker-than normal stubble, his hair looks like Justin Bieber's old bowl hair covering his forehead and almost touching his eyes, my ugly ass best friend, _IAN._

**Ian Hecox**

I stared down at the metal cuffs around my wrists in deep thought. We might've evaded the police last time, but this time there was no window of escape, I was bound to my wrists and trapped inside with two dorks of a cop.

_I was waiting for a miracle._

Then a headlight of an oncoming vehicle shone at my face, almost blinding me, I looked away and ended up facing the other side of the road which were full of bushes and a big oak tree. Then something caught my eye, behind the green bushes a glint of silver stood out, reflecting the moonlight, I focused my sights on the shining silver what looks like the hood of a car. Then I saw three small silver letters below the hood.

DMC

Then it came to me, that's the grills of the time machine! It's right there across the street! My eyes made its way from the grills to the partially hidden windshield, but there was no light, no one was there.

"Alright you good for nothing criminal, we've finished our donuts, we're finally taking you to prison." Sgt. Anous said, starting the car.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm innocent!" I retorted.

"That's what they all say." Then the other policeman tapped Anous's shoulder.

"How about we listen to some music along the way?" Sgt. Jasshol said.

"Good idea partner." Sgt. Anous fumbled the radio, it started playing some retro themed intro, it's kinda familiar, "I hope you like the Spice Girls, criminal!" The policeman said to me.

_ I LOVE the Spice Girls!_

The beat blasted through the speakers, _"Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want_! _So tell me what you want, what you really really want" _The two cops were singing their hearts out in a crappy off key voice, the worst kind of it. Then Sgt. Anous pulled out his gun and aimed at me. I shrieked and raised my hands.

"SING DAMN IT!" He shouted.

_ "I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want_

_So tell me what you want, what you really really want!"_ I sang loudly, high pitched and out of tune. The police officer stepped on the gas pedal, the police cruiser started moving.

I looked back at the DeLorean time machine from behind the bushes and to my surprise, the car began moving out of its hiding place exposing its full body. It was then that I noticed that the vehicle was barely touching the ground; it was hovering and driving slowly behind us. I turned to the back window, looking at the car. The car's interior lights flickered on, revealing the people inside. The passenger was a chubby boy wearing a red and yellow beanie propeller hat and wearing a red shirt. The driver had this slightly curly half emo hairstyle and a decent build, he smiled happily, and I immediately recognized the ugly butt nose... _ANTHONY._

I smiled back in excitement. His finger went up to his mouth and made a shush gesture. He mouthed the words. _"Distract them."_ I nodded and turned back to the two police officers.

"Hey why don't we turn it up a bit?" I asked.

"I thought you'd never ask!" Sgt. Anous cranked up the volume then continued singing off key. I gave Anthony the thumbs up signal.

**Billy Hamburger**

"Alright, Billy. I'm gonna get you closer to the car, you know the plan?" Anthony asked me.

"I use my hat and these tools to get Ian out of the car." I recalled

"Good, here." Anthony gave me a pen-length silver object, with a small metallic button in the center.

"What is this?" I asked but Anthony did not answer, instead he focused on the road. I examined the metal pen a while then stuffed it inside my pocket. I pushed open the door and spun my propeller hat. It finally started spinning faster, giving me lift.

I dangled my feet outside the car and only a few more inches I would be touching the asphalt, next was my body, I dangled my body out of the car until only my hands were latched onto the car's sides.

"Okay, I'll be driving close to the cruiser so you can cross." Anthony said.

"Yeah." I pulled myself from the door and reached for the front of the car, slowly making my way with the wind blowing against my face. Anthony cautiously approached the other car's rear bumper.

"Now." Anthony whispered loud. I pushed myself from the DeLorean and grabbed onto the back of the police car, getting a grip on the car's spoiler. I turned to Anthony, giving him thumbs up and he replied by nodding then backing away from the cruiser.

I watched him go higher in the air but accidentally got the left rear wheel stuck on a string of pennant flags hanging on telephone poles, the flying time machine got stuck on the string. I stared at Anthony but he motioned me to keep going, so I did.

With my whole body relying on the lift of the little turbine on my head, I shimmied my way along the rear right side of the car, slowly inching my way to the backseat door. The car turned left, I tightened my grip on the car's spoiler as they made the sharp turn. The turn almost whiplashed my away from them, losing my grip on the side window but however managing to grasp the spoiler.

_ This is gonna be harder than I thought. _

I kept my place until they ended up driving on a straight road before swiftly making my way back to the window, feeling the car booming to the sound of the loud music.

My right hand dug in my pocket to find the cutter while my left hand fastened me to the car. Bingo! I got it, pulled it out from my pocket and pressed the button. A little bright blue light came out of one end, it was pretty.

"Ooh pretty!" I said, _I must lick it._

I stuck my tongue out and drew the light closer to it. The moment it made contact, my tongue retreated to my mouth, it burns. _I should not have done that._

I covered my mouth that muffled my shriek of pain, the burning sensation all over my tongue made me shed a tear from my eye. Then I shook it off and looked at my reflection on the glass before sticking my tongue out: there was a little burn mark on it, still smoking. Ian knocked on the window, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Sorry." I apologized. I pressed the laser on the window, and without any hassle, it sliced through the glass, I drew a large rectangle and pushed it in, letting out the loud blast of the car's stereo speakers and ringing through my ears.

Then I heard a beep, my hat beeped, it was low on battery. I looked at Ian through the glass._ Uh oh._

**Ian Hecox**

The boy looked at me, his hat was beeping. Then the propellers stopped spinning. "Uh oh." His eyes widened as he dropped on the ground, hands still gripping the door. I heard grinding noises. _This doesn't look good._

He rose again to the window, his face bloody, "I love the taste of asphalt!" He squeaked then smiled, showing that he had chipped one of his teeth. The cops were oblivious to what's happening, the music was really loud.

_ "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends (gotta get with my friend) Make it last forever friendship never ends,"_ They continued singing. We entered the tunnel and its lights fully illuminating the car.

I quickly went out of the cut window, crawling onto the roof still with my hands restrained and helped the boy get on the car.

_He was having a drag, literally._

"Mommy I want chocolates!" He was dazed with confusion.

"On the count of three, jump." I said.

"Okay Uuuuncle Saaaam." He uttered.

"In one, two, three!" I pushed him from the car and he started rolling on the road, grunting in pain. I jumped after him, landing on my knee then rolling uncontrollably on the rough road, my vision spun around. I was getting dizzy and it was painful every roll. I struggled standing up as the grazes on my skin stung and drew blood.

Then the tires of the police car screeched._ They noticed._

"THE PRISONER'S ESCAPED!" Sgt. Anous shouted, turning the car around the tunnel to face us, "STOP RIGHT THERE!" He shouted. The engine of the cop car roared as it gained speed, driving after us.

I ran to the boy lying face down on the ground and pulled him to his feet, "C'mon! Now's not the time for sleeping!" His arm wrapped around my shoulder as we limped to the tunnel opening. Adrenaline flowing through my veins as we hurriedly ran to the exit, the engine sounds grew nearer and I ran faster, dragging the kid with me as he was slowly losing consciousness.

"There's gotta be some more battery left in your hat!" I said to the boy.

He limped clumsily, his head tilted downwards. "S-sure. G-give it a slap." He mumbled. I raised both my bound hands and hit the boy's hat in full force, "OUCH! Not that hard!" The blow must've brought the boy back to his senses. Luckily, the propeller started spinning again.

"YEAH!" I yelled. Then the sirens of the chasing vehicle blared louder. I watched the propellers spin even faster, watching it take the boy off the ground. I wasted no time and hopped on his back, a piggyback ride. It may look kinda gay and all, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

"Go faster!" I said.

"Sorry man, my mom set it to a safe speed, two miles per hour." The kid apologized. I sighed then kicked my feet on the ground like riding a skateboard. The car was gaining on us, and to make things even worse, the hat beeped again.

"STOP!" Sgt. Anous bellowed. The car was only a few feet from us, only a little more speed it could run us over. I kicked harder on the ground, but it was no use. How can you even outrun a car on foot?

There's the exit, right in front of us, but we can't outrun these pesky cops, I kept kicking on the asphalt, I was sweating heavily, struggling to keep away from them. It's the end of the line, why go through this when it's impossible to evade them? I lost hope actually.

_We're gonna get caught._

Then a rope with flags suddenly dangled outside, as if right on queue.

"GRAB THE LINE, KID!""I exclaimed, pushing him with my every strength, not thinking twice. The kid reached his hands out to grab the rope. My heart skipped a beat, it was like everything turned into slow motion, and the boy extended his hand out to get the pennant flags. My sweat was cold and I just closed my eyes.

I felt my feet leave the ground and I screamed, hoping that I wouldn't see another me under a cop car when I open my eyes.

"Ian! It's alright, everything's fine!" I heard a voice say. I slowly opened my eyes and felt the cold air blow against my face, my hands were still grabbing on the kid's shirt. I glanced down and I was relieved.

We made it.

We were almost flattened by a cop car. I looked up and saw the underside of a car above us, it was the flying DeLorean. The driver's side door opened, and a head peeked out, checking out if we made it.

"Hey bud! Miss me?" It was Anthony who was driving the flying car.

"Dude! That was a close one!" I sighed in relief, "You're the best!" I smiled. Good old Anthony, he may be a douche sometimes, he may not be there when I need a friend, and he may be the worst best friend out there, but at least he saved me from being a black guy's bitch in prison.


	8. Chapter Seven: Follow the Leader

**Ian Hecox**

We were suspended in mid air, my hands firmly grasping the boy's red shirt. A bright orange light came from the sky, an awesome and peaceful view, then a gust of cold wind blew against my face, giving me shivers. The images of houses grew larger, we were landing.

"Ian?" The kid coughed, "You're choking me." I noticed that I tugged on his shirt so hard that the collar went to his neck.

"Oh sorry." I let go of his shirt, but I realized that my hands were still cuffed. _Wrong decision, idiot._

"AHHHH!" I fell, but my yells were cut short as the kid caught me by my left foot, holding me upside-down. Again.

"IAN!" Anthony panicked and he quickly drove the car faster down.

But then I felt my foot slipping off. "Oh No! NO NO!" I screamed as my foot slowly slipped off my shoe.

"Whoa!" The kid exclaimed, "Hold on!"

"HOW CAN I HOLD ON WHEN I'M CUFFED?!" I shouted back.

And then, POP! There goes my foot.

"NOOOOO!" Anthony let out the loudest yell he had as I fell headlong back to the earth. The images of houses grew bigger, there was no stopping it. This is it, I closed my eyes, scared to look at where I'm gonna hit.

Then a wet feeling covered my entire body.

_ Water. _

I opened my eyes and water came rushing in, preventing me from seeing clearly, and I was swimming in it. My foot touched the very bottom: it was made of tiles. Some water got into my mouth and I tasted chlorine: a pool.

I was relieved that this pool was here or Anthony would have been scraping my remains from the pavement.

My lungs were rapidly running out of breath, I kicked on the tiled floor and swam upwards; my cuffed hands struggled to swim myself to the top. My head rose to the surface, taking in a huge gasp of air, rushing into my lungs and calming my rapid beating heart. My hair was over my eyes, I parted them with my hands to be able to see through, it was a backyard swimming pool.

I felt a pull on my pants below, and before I knew it I was back underwater, something was pulling on my pants, I was hooked on something. I tried swimming away from it, but it was too powerful. It pulled me back to the surface, feet first.

"Look, Benny Jean! I caught a live mermaid!" I heard someone say. My view was upside down, my arms and my unhooked leg hanging like a ragdoll. I shook the water from my head and looked at the man: he was wearing faded blue jeans, army boots, a blue vest and a long sleeved camouflage shirt underneath, on his head he was wearing a cap.

Another guy entered the scene, this one I recognized easily, a man with a pink lawn flamingo in his arms, _Benny Jean_, Anthony's former movie partner.

"What is it Cletus?" Benny Jean asked.

"Look, A Mermaid!" This Cletus guy pointed to me, Benny Jean looked at me.

"M-mermaid? I'm a man." I said

"Wait, you look like and underwater mushroom!" He laughed, "—wait, you look familiar, it's Lan, right?"

"It's IAN." I sighed. _Why do some people misread my name as 'Lan'?!_ _I mean, come on, it has those little horns on the side to make it look like the letter 'I'._

Benny Jean slapped Cletus. "You idiot, that's not a mermaid! Let him down." He commanded. Cletus fumbled his fishing rod and pressed a button, dropping me back in the water. I swam to the gutter and climbed out of the pool, "What are you doing in my pool?" Benny Jean questioned my sudden appearance.

"Oh nothing, just taking an early morning dip." I dizzyingly said as my clothes dripped on the dry ground. Benny Jean took a step backwards, "Maybe you're a double agent, working for That Damn Neighbor to steal my pet Flaminger!" He exclaimed.

"No, I'm not!" I defended myself. the Hillbilly dropped the plastic animal and pulled a long double-barreled shotgun from behind him then aimed at me. "Trust me Benny Jean! I'm not a double agent!" I pleaded.

"Really?" Cletus butted in.

"How 'bout we interrogate him?" Benny Jean said.

Cletus took a step closer to me, "What color is my underwear?" He said before suddenly slapping me, I didn't even get the chance to answer.

"You moron! Not those kind of questions! And besides, you ripped it off of _A Spongebob episode_!" Benny swung his gun on Cletus's head, a loud clang was heard, the guy screamed in pain.

"Sorry!" He started crying.

"You always ruin a serious moment, Cletus!" The hillbilly yelled at his friend.

"I told you I was sorry." Cletus replied, massaging the part where Benny had hit him.

"Damn you Cletus!"

Then out of nowhere, I saw The Neighbor standing behind the quarreling pair, holding the pink lawn flamingo in his arms.

"Uh, guys? I hate to break up your 'lover's quarrel' but you might wanna look at that." I pointed at the neighbor behind them and they quickly turned around.

Benny Jean jumped when he saw him, "YOU DAMN NEIGHBOR!" He yelled as the robber drove his two wheeled, electric _Segway PT _out of the yard, with Benny Jean and Cletus giving chase.

A rocket sound came from behind me, descending onto the ground; the once calm waters of the pool now became violent, as a DeLorean hovered above it. The driver's side door opened and there Anthony sat.

"Ian, you okay?" The boy asked me, his propeller hat spinning in the wind.

"Yeah, thanks again—"

"It's Billy, your biggest fan!" Billy squealed.

"Ooookay..." Anthony landed the car right beside the pool, stepped out and ran to where I'm standing.

"Whoa, you can drive a stick shift now, bro?" I asked Anthony.

"Nah, it's on auto pilot when I used it." He smirked.

"Real men drive a stick." I gloated, laughing at his inability to drive a car with manual transmission.

"Are you a man?" He snickered.

"Shut up." That backfired quickly.

"What are we gonna do now, man?" He asked.

"I say we go back to our time." I said, exhausted, I still haven't gotten a long rest after that first adventure we had.

"Uh, You're probably not gonna like this but—" Anthony grabbed my shoulders and brought me next to the car. He pulled the door open and showed me the inside. "See that missing piece?" He referred to the box shaped depression in the wall in the middle of the passenger and the driver's seat.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Someone took the _Flux Capacitor_; we can't travel through time without it." He said, resting his hand on the door and bowing down his head in disappointment. I slapped my hand on my forehead, an act of disbelief. But then an idea randomly popped in my mind... _The Power Glove._

"The Power Glove!" I blurted out; Anthony smiled, like a new hope flashed in his expression.

"Oh yeah! Where is it?" He asked.

"Duh, I'm wearing it right he—" I showed him my arms, but there was no glove, only my shackled hands. I forgot that I dropped it, "—at the Neighbor's house." My smile disappeared, both Billy and Anthony frowned.

Then Billy jumped, "Let's go back to The Neighbor's house!" He cheered, his hat reflecting the sun.

"Let's go, but this time we have to do this quickly and undetected." I said, "First, we need to scout the place, look for openings and exits."

* * *

><p>I drove a few blocks back to The Neighbor's house and there it was, the familiar lawn flamingo-studded front yard. I parked the car directly across the street, getting a clear view of the house.<p>

"Why did the creators of the _Back to the Future_ films made this car for only two people?" Anthony complained with Billy sitting on his lap.

"This feels kinda awkward, and I think I felt your boner." Billy remarked. Anthony covered his crotch with his hands, and blushed in shame.

"Sorry, Billy." Anthony mumbled.

"It's alright, I'm used to those things—" Anthony and I looked at each other exchanging surprised looks, "—when my bike goes over bumps." Billy continued.

"Ooohhh." We both replied in unison, it's gotten more awkward.

"Anyways, why did you have to bring this thing with us?" Anthony pointed his thumb to a cardboard cutout of a muscular blonde male model behind us.

"Fabio?" I asked.

"Yeah, you should've just left him"

_ "I want to sex you up." _The voice box of the doll triggered.

"Why did you?" Anthony asked.

"Research." I stuttered.

_ "I want to sex you up."_

"SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF CRAP!" Anthony was pissed off.

_ "I want to sex you up."_

"Alright, that's it!" Anthony kicked the door open and yanked the cardboard model outside; he threw it on the ground and started stepping on it.

_ "I want— I want— I want—"_ The recording malfunctioned. Anthony stopped, out of breath.

"Had enough?!" He taunted the figure.

_ "I want to sex you up."_

"AAAAAARRRGGGGHHH!" Anthony's rage mode just got activated; picking up the cutout and started smacking it on the ground.

_ "I want-I want"_ it continued to malfunction.

"Mwahahahaha!" My friend laughed maniacally while he continued to hit the cardboard.

"Guys, look!" Billy said, looking at the door of The Neighbor's house, Anthony stopped in his act and looked as well.

"I can't see them clearly." I said.

"Here, use my binoculars." Billy handed me a pair of binoculars. "My hat is also a bag." He said.

I used the binoculars to get a closer look. The door of the house swung open, we were expecting a man in a turquoise and purple jacket to step out, but it was someone else. A man dressed in white lab coat walked out, wearing round spectacles and a beret, holding a box with white cloth draped over it, he was followed by The Neighbor outside.

"Okay, I'll be taking this to a safe place." The man in white said and The Neighbor just nodded. The man walked to his car, placed the box on the hood of his car then dug reached his hand in his pocket. Then a strong wind blew the cloth off the box, under it was a glass box, inside it is a grey rubber glove with a small rectangular box attached to it... _The Power Glove._

"THE POWER GLOVE!" I shrieked, making Billy jump.

"Where?!" Anthony got back in the car.

"In that glass box, that man's taking it somewhere."

The man quickly jumped in his car, and started driving off.

"Let's play _Follow the Leader_." I said. I drove behind the car, but I realized I've forgotten something, so I hit the brakes, jolting the car, "Wait." I got out of the car and ran back to the partially beaten Fabio cutout.

"You know I won't ever forget you, Fabio." I brought him back to the car.


	9. Chapter Eight: The Company

**Ian Hecox**

We've been following the white sedan for quite a while, he's been driving really and irritably slow, and with all four of us, counting Fabio, being cramped in that tight space, it's pretty much not the most comfortable place in the world, my ass hurts, probably for sitting on it for hours and being squeezed to the door.

"Dude, what's taking him so long?" Anthony groaned.

"He's been driving less than 10 miles an hour." I looked at my dashboard; our speed matched the white car's.

Billy was snoring loudly, his mouth wide open and leaning against the window with drool on his chin, is hat out of place on his head.

"How can that boy get some sleep in this tight space?" I asked.

"Beats me," Anthony shrugged.

"Where did you find him?"

"Who? Billy? Long story bro, we met in a toilet"

I jolted, "Whoa-whoa, in a toilet?!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust, "What did you do there?"

"Let me explain, the kid was gonna sit on my face—"

My eyes grew wider, "He what?! You pedophile!" I flinched, this is getting awkward.

"WOULD YOU JUST LET ME FINISH?!" He bellowed, making Billy jolt a little.

"Sorry dude, I'm listening." _Too many sexual references._

"I was trapped in The Neighbor's basement, and I escaped through a tunnel then ended up in an outhouse. I came out of the toilet where Billy was supposed to take a poop, he saw me peeping through the seat then he helped me get out. He said he wanted to tag along." He finished. I thought I'll be reporting Anthony for being a pedophile.

"Ohh, I get it, it sounds kinda fucked up, but I get it now." I said.

Billy snored again.

"—and let's face it, he'd been a lot of help." My friend continued.

"True." I sighed. The car's turn signal blinked to the right, he's finally stopping.

"Oh look, he's stopping somewhere, at last." Anthony sighed. The car stopped by a huge building with huge glass windows and a big rotating door. We parked a few feet away from the tailed vehicle waiting for the driver to step out. The door of the car opened with the beret-wearing man stepping out and the glass box firmly in his grasp. We observed him as he entered the big glass door, the place looked like it was heavily guarded, with guys in black uniform standing by the entrance looking like a total rip off of _Men in Black._

Anthony nudged Billy awake, "Billy! Wake up!" The boy inched his eyes open, looking left then right, till he stared at us, with a look of surprise.

"Was I dreaming with that daring police escape?" He shook his head.

"Nope, I hope it was." I said.

"Oh my God, that wasn't a dream?! I'm actually with Smosh?!" Billy squealed.

"Yeah." Anthony replied.

"Yaaaay! Somebody pinch me!"

"Okay." Anthony grabbed Billy's nipples and twisted them.

"OOOOOOWWWW!" He screamed.

"You awake now?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think my left nipple fell off and they're bleeding." Billy rubbed his left boob. I kicked open the car doors on my side and Anthony kicked theirs, it was trouble getting out.

"So what's the plan?" Anthony asked.

"Let me think," I stroke my beard then noticed I was still handcuffed, "Can you get these cuffs off of me first? I've been driving for hours handcuffed."

"Oh, my bad dude." Anthony sliced the chain open with the same cutter Billy used last night.

Finally the gloves, er, cuffs are off.

"I say follow him inside." I explained.

"How are we gonna get in there? It's guarded by those two dudes." Billy asked.

"We dress up like doctors."

Anthony interjected, "But wait, we should just—"

"There's a lab coat store just beside it, we can use those." I pointed to a store near the building, a little bit small to be in a place full of huge structures, painted brick red and a glass window displaying a mannequin in a lab coat. A sign on it read:

_LAB COATS_

"But we could just—" My friend mumbled.

"Don't worry man, it's foolproof!" We went to the shop and bought white lab coats, one for each of us. I wore my fake wig and round pair of glasses, Anthony wore a rectangular pair of glasses and styled his hair into a pointy Mohawk, Billy took off his hat, parted his hair onto one side and stuck on a fake mustache.

"Okay, all set?" Anthony said, brushing off new white coat.

"Does this dress make me look fat?" Billy asked.

"What dress?" I asked.

"This one." Billy ripped open his coat and showed us a pink floral gown underneath it, the skirt running down to his knee and a sleeveless top.

It made me and Anthony shriek. "AAAAAHHHH! Why are you wearing that?!" I shouted, covering my eyes.

"Why wouldn't I? It feels good to feel your manhood clapping free." Billy jumped up and down; a sound of two balls rubbing against each other was heard.

"True." My friend and I said in unison.

"And these new rubber shoes fit my large feet well." The boy showed off his new shoes.

* * *

><p>We approached the front doors and now we're facing the two guys in black, both of whom towered over us, not to mention they're buff and seemed like they're six foot high. The guards almost looked identical. It was scary.<p>

"Welcome kind sirs." The guard on the left said in a squeaky high pitched voice, kinda odd for a towering buff dude. I snickered.

"Good morning, my good man." I said in a posh English accent.

"Would you mind letting us in?" Anthony followed with a cowboy accent.

"Bub figgly foo squeemy jeemy" Billy uttered, we both looked at him.

"Uh- he's Irish." I said. There was a brief moment of silence, with the two guards looking at us, examining us, like they're inspecting every fiber of my being, _whoa, too dramatic description._ I stared back into their dark shades, and their mouths curved into a smile.

"Go right ahead Mister—" the guard on the left squeaked, looking at me.

"_SUQ MADIQ_." I read the name tag pinned on my coat. Anthony chuckled and I gave him an elbow to the belly, causing him to groan in pain.

"Alright, Dr. Madiq." The guard on the right hopped from his spot and to our surprise, he was just a midget, standing on top of a fake pair of legs, now we dwarfed him. I looked at Billy and Anthony to see the same surprised expression on their faces. The tiny guard went to the glass door and pushed it open, allowing us to pass through.

"Thanks." I gave a courtesy bow to the man.

"Anytime." The midget guard smiled.

We're in, the lobby had this high-tech futuristic look as it was mostly chrome, just like in the movies where they depict the future as chrome-y and clean. At the center was a huge fountain, water spouting from holes on the rim of it and directed at the center of it where huge metal letters forming the words:

_**ALLOY DIGITAL**_

I tapped my friend's shoulder, "_Alloy Digital_ is our parent company, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, dumbass, that's what I've been trying to tell you, but you keep butting your plan in, didn't you see the huge-ass metal sign on the outside?" Anthony sighed, "We could've just walked right in, but you said to go incognito." He mocked me.

"I'm sorry!"

He brushed it off, "Whatever, man, let's go find that glove, Billy y—" We turned but could not see the boy, Anthony called, "Billy where are you?"

"Yay! I love swimming!" We heard his voice, Billy was sitting in the fountain: wet, swishing the water about and enjoying the fun.

I yelled, "Hey! Get out of there before some—"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!" Too late. A woman behind us yelled, she scolded Billy and we just couldn't dare to look back.

"Duh, I'm swimming." Billy replied to the girl.

"You better get out of there now, bud." She calmly said. We spun around to look at her: that familiar face, brunette wavy hair, curvy body and the Japanese-American features plus the tomboy look: _Mari Takahashi._

"Mari?" Anthony mumbled.

She smiled and squinted her eyes, "Yeah, Mister—?"

I lifted my wig, "It's us." I whispered. Mari's smile grew wide; she threw her arms around me and Anthony.

"Oh my God, Ian! Anthony! I missed you!" Mari said, I heard her sob.

"Yea—wait, why? Did we go anywhere?" I asked. Mari grabbed my hand.

"You two had a fight and—"

"Look Ian! I'm a whale!" Billy screamed, we glanced at him and saw him face up in the fountain and spouting water through his mouth.

"—and will you please get your friend out of that fountain?" She pointed to Billy.

"Billy! Get out of there!" Anthony said.

"I don't wanna!" The boy folded his arms.

"I've got cookies!" I said, the boy looked at me, and his tongue dangled out of his mouth.

"Cookies?!" He quickly jumped out of the fountain, he was soaking wet. He dashed and hugged my leg, drenching it. I pulled out a cookie from my pants that probably had been in here for a few months, I waved the cookie over his face and he followed it just like a hungry dog.

"You want his, boy?" I said, he pants like a dog.

"Arf!" The boy barked. I threw it to him and he caught it with his mouth with little effort before letting go of my leg then going all fours on the ground, munching on his treat.

Anthony knelt beside Billy, "Can I have some, Billy?" The boy stared angrily at my friend and growled, scaring him away.

"Fine, stingy ass." Anthony exclaimed. I turned to Mari.

"Anyways, what did you say about us fighting?" I asked her.

"You two had a big fight that ended Smosh." She frowned.

"What fight?"

"If I remember it correctly, Anthony humiliated you too much and you got pissed off."

"When?" I looked at Anthony with a shocked expression on my face, and then the guy in the lab coat we were chasing walked behind Mari, holding the clothed glass box.

"That's our guy!" I blurted out, startling Mari.

"Who?" Mari asked.

"That chubby guy in lab coat, wearing a beret, kinda like a gay sailor, looks kinda like me." I pointed to the guy at the corner of the lobby.

"Oh, Doctor Drew Peacock?" She said, "He's hard to catch right now, that slippery bastard." Mari laughed. "Wait, it's morning, why is he here? He's head of the night shaft—I mean shift." Mari raised an eyebrow.

"We need to tail him." We watched the man's every move, his arms were firmly wrapped around the glass box protecting it from the people around, and most likely from us. He soon got into an elevator; we watched the display on the little screen: _twelfth floor._

"Twelfth floor." I mumbled.

"Guys, can you tell me what the hell's going on here?"" Mari asked us.

"It's a long story, Mari, I'll tell you on the way." I reassured her, she just nodded. We walked towards the elevator doors beside it the one taken by Drew Peacock.

SQUEAK! SQUEAK! Billy's clothes made his every step squeak, we gave him the stink eye, "Sorry." He said, pulling off his boots and spilling water on the floor, making more noise.

I groaned in disbelief, "Really, Billy? You're making a scene!" I blurted out. Billy blushed, embarrassed. I pressed the up button on the elevator and after a few minutes, the doors slid open and the lift was empty, we hurriedly hopped in and I pressed the button labeled '12'

"Alright, Power Glove, here we come!" I cheered, Billy then went in front of me, with a big smile, looking at the buttons.

"Look guys! This is what my friend and I do when we were kids!" Billy smiled as he placed his hand just above the buttons in the elevator.

"BILLY, NO!" Billy slid his hand downwards, pressing all the buttons of the floors, "You idiot!" I bellowed. I was about to throw a punch at him but Anthony went between me and the boy.

"Hey, go easy on the kid, you know he has special problems." Anthony stopped my hand.

I took a deep breath and put down my closed fists, it was Billy's lucky day. I sighed loudly and shook my head, covering my face with my hands and rubbing it in frustration.

"We've got a long way to go."


	10. Chapter Nine: Mission: Imbecile

**Ian Hecox**

Twelfth floor, finally, it took us half an hour to get here, thanks to Billy. The elevator doors slid, opening the floor. The place had shiny marble floor, reflecting everything placed on top of it, dull grey painted walls and identical doors with no labels on them. We probably lost him a while ago, since we stopped on every single floor before this one.

"Mari, do you know where Drew Peacock went?" Anthony asked Mari.

"Probably down the studio." she replied.

"Where's the studio?"

"Down the hallway." She led us through a long hallway until we reached the very end.

"I think he's in here." Mari mumbled, there were huge double doors in front of us, like those fancy doors in opera houses. Mari pushed the two doors inwards but it did not budge, "It's locked from the inside."

"Damn." I pressed my ear against the wooded door and so did Mari, I heard someone talking.

"You wanna grind meat, baby? Oh yeah, I know you like that. OHH YEAHHH!" I imagined what was happening right now, it made me cringe.

"What the hell's he doing?" Anthony asked.

"You don't wanna know." I said.

"Don't be silly, let me hear." Anthony pulled me away from the door and eavesdropped too. I saw his curious face fade into a disgusted one, "You know what? I should've listened to you, man." My friend shivered.

"How are we gonna get in there?" Billy cut in.

"Let me think." I rubbed my beard.

**Anthony Padilla**

"Let me think." Ian rubbed his chin, looking around, "How about we pretend to be Girl Scouts? Pretend we're selling cookies?" He planned.

"Cookies?!" Billy's boyish voice changed into a deep one. Then a loud moan was heard from inside the studio.

"There's no cookies, calm down." I pat the boy's head that was still soaking wet, "—that'll never work." I said.

"What makes you think that?" Ian asked.

"Because your ideas are always unoriginal."

"True, let me think of another one." He rubbed his bowl hair; his expression looked like he has hatched a plan. "I got it!" He stared at me, smiling.

"NO, NO! I won't do it!"

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I'm doing this... again." I ranted as Mari tightened the girdle around my tummy, "Ow, too tight." I yelped.<p>

"Sorry." She apologized.

"The things I do for a friend." I sighed. I looked in the mirror, the same girl I saw back in the high school bathroom in 2003: beautiful, big-boobed and insanely attractive, it's me all along. I stepped out of the bathroom and Billy and Ian were looking at me.

"Wow, you look bangin' Anthony!" Billy said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever." I brushed it off.

"Welcome back, Antoinette." Ian laughed and I flipped him the bird.

Ian, Mari, Billy and I huddled around, "Okay, you know the plan?" Ian asked, "You distract Drew Peacock while we sneak in through the vents and retrieve the glove."

"Why am I always the distraction?" I asked, "And why didn't we ask Mari to do this instead of me? I mean, she's a real girl."

"Cause you look hot in that dress." Billy said.

Mari looked weirded out, "That's gay as _balls_."

Ian's pupils dilated and looked for the nearest object, a flower vase. He grabbed it and smacked it against his head then collapsed to the ground.

"Oh my God, Ian!" Mari shrieked, here cute asian eyes grew wide.

"Nah it's okay, I hypnotized him back in _Food Battle 2013_ and probably haven't found a cure yet." I said.

Ian shook his head, sprinkling the bits of broken porcelain off of his hair, "What happened?" Ian dizzyingly asked.

"Nothing, hey Ian, what do you call the ones dangling between your legs?" I asked.

"Balls?" Ian gasped, his eyes widened again, looking for an object to hit his head with, this time he got a metal pipe.

Mari's hand held the pipe firmly, preventing Ian from hitting himself, "Whoa! Stop!" She bellowed. I laughed hysterically, "Anthony, you bastard."

"Sorry." I apologized; Mari slapped Ian to his senses.

"W-where am I?" My friend was cross-eyed, Mari covered my mouth so I can't mess things up more.

"OOOH YEAH BABY!" Another moan came from inside the studio, startling us.

"How about we get moving?" Ian asked.

"Fine." I sighed, brushing my long wig backwards. I approached the main door while Ian, Mari, and Billy entered the vent just above the doorway. Mari and Billy were now inside and lastly, I gave Ian a boost to the vent opening, "Jeez! You're getting heavier by the minute!" I complained.

"Stop whining like a bitch and do your task!" Ian's voice echoed through the shaft, his choice of words pissed me off. "Hey, Anthony." Ian's head peeped from inside the vent, looking down at me, "—don't have too much fun with him." He chuckled and crawled back inside.

I rolled my eyes, trying to control my anger, "Hey Ian!"

"What?" He replied.

"BALLS." I heard a loud bang in the vents followed by Ian's scream of agony. _Vengeance is mine._

I took a deep breath, "Alright, here goes." I extended my hand and knocked on the door, the moaning stopped.

"Who is it?" Dr. Drew Peacock asked from the inside.

"Hey wanna have a little fun?" I asked. _What did I get myself into again?_

The door unlocked and slowly opened.

_Curse you, Ian._

**Ian Hecox**

The three of us were now in the ventilation shaft, silently crawling on all fours inside the crowded vent, with Mari and Billy in front of me while Anthony's distracting Drew Peacock, and soon he won't be a Drew Peacock any more, we need to move fast.

"Now tell me Ian, why do we need the Glove for?" Mari said from up front, stopping in her tracks and looking back at me.

"Someone is messing up our lives by traveling through time and causing issues, the Teleporting Fat Guy took us from 2014 and brought us here, who was missing in action since yesterday and we haven't heard from him since, only his time traveling glove remained, now, we're here to retrieve it." I explained thoroughly,

"Whoa that's some crazy shit man, are you on drugs?" Mari scoffed.

"I knew you won't believe me." I frowned, "Just trust me on this."

Mari raised one eyebrow, "Please promise me this isn't a prank." She sighed, "—because if it is, I swear I'll beat the shit out of you with a lead pipe."

My heart skipped at her warning, "It's not a prank." I assured her. She continued to crawl deeper into the vent, quietly moving to avoid being caught. Lots of thoughts clouded in my mind right now.

Then my face was suddenly buried between Billy's butt cheeks and my nose caught a whiff of his foul smelling butthole.

_HUMAN CENTIPEDE!_

"Mmphh mmph!" I shouted, pulling my face away from the boy's ass, "What the frick Billy?! When was the last time you wiped your ass?!"

"Sorry." Billy said looks like he stopped moving.

"Mari? Did you stop?" I called out for Mari, her head turned to face me.

"I can see the glove." Mari mumbled, her hand pointing down at the grills on the floor. I gently pushed Billy to the side and crawled to Mari.

I forced myself into the tiny hole, and stopped halfway, "Mari?" I looked up to her, "I'm stuck." Billy and I looked like we just played a game of_ Twister_, my tummy was squeezed so tight I can't breathe and to make matters worse, we're jammed inside this damn vent.

Mari sighed then held my outstretched arm and pulled it with all her strength, she grunted out loud, putting her foot on Billy's shoulder as leverage.

"Ow! Your heels are digging into my skin!" Billy yelped. After a few more pulls, I was freed.

"Thanks." I said.

"Ow, Mari! Can you take your foot off of me now?" Billy exclaimed, eyes shut and crying. Mari and I looked at each other, confused both of her feet are no longer on Billy. I noticed that her right shoe was missing, we glanced back at Billy and saw Mari's missing shoe, the thin heel buried into the boy's shoulder.

"Oh crap, sorry Billy!" Mari yanked the shoe off him. Billy let out a whimper, "Sorry, I'm terribly sorry." Mari kissed Billy's forehead, he blushed.

"It's okay!" His eyes sparkled and grinned, showing his chipped tooth.

"Okay, where's the glove?" I turned around and became face to face with Mari, we were now surrounding the grill on the floor of the vent.

"Down there, on that table." She said. I peeped through the little gaps between the grills, and saw the glove resting on the table, inside a little office, guarded by a big black Rottweiler.

"It's guarded, yet again." I said. Why would someone put so much effort to guard this piece of crap?

"Any ideas?" Mari asked me.

"Anyone got a rope?" I asked them.

"I do!" Billy said, pulling a medium sized rope from his hat, handing it over to me.

"Gee, thanks." I whispered. I tied one end the rope on my back and around my belt then handed the other end to Mari and Billy, "Okay, you'll lower me down there carefully, and I'm gonna retrieve the Glove,_Mission: Impossible_ style."

"Copy that." Mari and Billy replied. I lifted the grills from the floor and opening a huge entrance from the ceiling of the office.

"Okay, here I go." I let my whole body dangle freely, my whole weight supported by the thick rope. I was spread eagled in mid air, keeping my weight at the center to avoid twirling out of balance.

"You're pretty heavy." Mari grunted.

"Lower." I said, I felt my whole body lower, still maintaining that spread eagle pose, "Lower." I ordered.

"OH GOD! A RAT!" Billy screamed from the vent, without warning, the pull on the rope was gone, sending me falling to the floor. I closed my eyes, _this is gonna hurt._

But a tug stopped me from completely falling to the marble floor. My eyes opened, I was staring at my reflection on the shiny floor only a few inches away from faceplanting. I gasped in relief and looked at Mari from the ceiling opening; she gave me thumbs up and pulled me a little higher from the ground.

I tilted my head upwards and was face to face with the sleeping Rottweiler, I watched its chest move up and down and its dark nose flopping as he snored. I trembled and used my hands to slowly turn my away from the dog. I swung from my harness, like a pendulum in an attempt to reach the office table. I was able to swing far enough to grab hold of the edge of the table, my hand reached out for it, but the glove was out of my reach. Then I thought, why was I dangling like this? It's not like the floor's lava.

I looked up at Mari. "Mari, lower me down gent—AHH!" I fell face first on the ground, flattening my nose in the process. I stood up and brushed off the dust from my clothes, "I told you to lower me gently!" I whispered.

"Sorry, the rope snapped." She apologized.

"Okay, now you two come down, I'll catch you." I said. Mari slid down the rope and fell into my arms, she wasn't really heavy though, but I should really work out my arms more.

"Here I come—AHHH!" I forgot to catch Billy, he fell butt first on the floor with a loud thud. I glanced back at the sleeping dog and it flinched but it quickly went back to its slumber. We all sighed in relief, I went to the table and there the glove sat, dull grey colored with Nintendo buttons on it, the exact same ones I wore earlier.

"Finally." I sighed and picked up the glove.

"Uhh, I-Ian." Billy trembled, "I think we should go."

"Why?" Mari and I spun around, and a dark furry figure stood in front of us, growling and its eyes staring furiously at us.

_The dog's awake._

Mari tapped my shoulder, "How about we—"

"Great idea, RUUUUN!" We dashed to the door and the dog started chasing us, barking loudly then blocking the doorway. I separated from Mari and Billy, running across the room and going around the office table. "OVER HERE!" I called the dog's attention, banging on the wooden table. Its head turned to me, its mouth was foamy.

"Ian! What are you—?" Mari shrieked.

"Get out of here!" I bellowed as the dog ran towards me and tried to leap on the table.

"We're not leaving without you!" They hesitated to leave me behind.

"Just go! GO NOW!" I urged them to get out while there's still time, "I got this!"

With much hesitation, the two went out of the door and left the room.

"I-I don't got this." I whimpered as the dog was able to jump on top of the table, it slowly approached me, its canine teeth showing, eyes bloodshot and angry.

I trembled in fear, "N-n-nice d-doggy." I stuttered. Then the dog lunged at me, "NOT THE HAIR! ANYTHING BUT THE HAIR!"

**Mari Takahashi**

Billy and I got out of the room and Ian was left inside, battling the guard dog. The feeling of fear and worry enveloped us, we were worried for Ian.

"What's gonna happen to Ian?" Billy shakily asked.

"L-let's just hope for the best." I tried brushing off the worst possible outcome.

"OH YEAH BABY! YEAH!" I heard Anthony screaming, it came from the other office at the other end of the studio.

"HELL YEAH!" This time Dr. Drew Peacock was shouting with Anthony in the room. I took Billy and pulled him to the other office.

"OH YEAH! YOU LIKE THAT BITCH?!" Anthony cheered, Ugh.

"NO!" Drew Peacock moaned and yelled. I couldn't take this anymore, too many moaning. I burst into the room and saw the two of them sitting on the floor, they both stared at me, shocked. In their hands were PlayStation controllers, they were facing a giant LCD TV, playing _Call of Duty_.

"What the hell's going on here?" I asked, in the back of my thoughts, I was relieved to not catch them actually doing it or that would've scarred me for life.

"We're playing Call of Duty." Drew Peacock's raspy voice said.

"Can I join?" Billy jumped up.

"No!" I stopped him and he bowed his head in sadness the walked away.

Anthony looked at me and Billy, "Hey, where's Ian?" his eyes searched behind us.

"Right here, man." Ian's voice came from behind. I turned around and was shocked to discover that his clothes had been torn to shreds, there were lots of cuts and bruises on his face and his hair was messy and wet, poor guy.

"Oh my God! Are you alright?" I went to Ian, looking at his cuts.

"I'm fine! I just got into a bad situation in there." Ian mumbled.

"What happened to the dog?"

"I put him to sleep." Ian showed his glove, "He almost tried to make puppies with me." He showed me two darts, one orange, labeled _Tranquilizer_, one blue, labeled _Viagra._

**Ian Hecox**

Why do I always get wounded? A dick move to lure the dog but at least I saved Mari and idiot boy. And at least only his claws wounded me, if it was his bite and my mouth should be foamy right now. _It's probably the writer's fault for always writing parts when I get hurt, why don't you pick on Anthony?_

"Let's go." I weakly said. Me, Mari, Anthony and Billy walked to the door.

"Wait just a minute!" Dr. Drew Peacock blocked our way.

"What?" I whined, cranky that I've gone all through this mess.

"Where are you taking my glove?" He hissed.

"This is mine." I said.

"If you wanna get out, you'll have to go through me." He raised both is closed fists.

"Don't be hard headed, Drew Peacock." I said.

"I'm hard sometimes when people take my stuff." His fist closed tighter.

"Step away or I will make you limp, Drew Peacock." I warned him.

"Try me." I shot an orange dart at his chest.

"Pfft, what's that gonna do—" Drew Peacock went limp and slumped on the ground, snoring. I pulled out a little red button with the word 'easy' stamped on it. I gave it a little squeeze.

_ "That was easy."_


	11. Chapter Ten: Friends No More

**Ian Hecox**

"Finally you got that dart right." Anthony said. Drew Peacock slumped on the ground, unconscious, "I can't believe I'm looking at a limp sleeping Drew Peacock."

"Yeah, he tried to do this the hard way." I replied, looking down on the snoring doctor.

"A peaceful, limp and hairy Drew Peacock."

"Drew Peacock's starting to spout white foamy liquid from his head."

"Nah dude, I poured a little toothpaste in his beer." Anthony confessed.

"Why?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno, for hilarious reasons." He raised his two hands, the gesture of 'I don't know'.

"Did it ever cross your mind that his name sounds like _Droopy Cock_?" I asked.

"Nope," a sudden expression of clarity showed in my friend's face, "How did you figure that out?"

"I think because if the _dick jokes_ the writer's making us say?" I said.

"Standard Smosh material."" He grinned, "How about we hide his body? They won't like it if they saw a Drew Peacock out in the open."

"Yeah, you hold his head and I'll work on handling his shaft." I said.

"What?" Anthony was disgusted.

"What? I mean... SHOE! You pervert." That last line just came out of me without warning. No dick joke intended. _I think?_

Then the alarm suddenly went off, the whole place glowed red like a disco with red lights. I turned my head; Billy was speaking to the surveillance camera hanging on the ceiling, that dumbass. "What the hell did you do this time, Billy?!" I shouted.

"I was just saying hi to the people watching us." Billy smiled.

"My God, how dumb are you?! You fricking dumbass."

"We gotta move guys!" Mari bellowed, they dashed out of the studio with me following them, running back to the elevator.

The elevator doors slid open, revealing three guys in black. They jumped as soon as they caught sight of us.

"TURN RIGHT!" I shouted. Mari gasped and turned right, pulling Billy. I slipped on the slippery marble floor, landing on my back and sliding directly to the elevator. A guard lunged at me but then a hand grabbed my arm and tugged me away preventing the big dude from landing on me and squashing me like a bug, it was Anthony, pulling me by the hand on the slippery floor away from the guards. He kept dragging me across the floor creating abrasions on my skin. I stopped Anthony and quickly stumbled to my feet and ran behind my friends, with the remaining two goons chasing us.

"Thanks dude!" I said to Anthony.

"Don't mention it." He said as we ran along a long corridor. A big candy dispenser was standing near the wall, its huge glass bowl with gumballs in it, resting on a thick glass pipe. I ran to it and tipped it over, shattering the glass and spilling the treats. I heard the guards yelp and followed by a loud thud. They fell for it... Literally.

"Stairs!" Mari screamed as the hallway blared with alarms. My eyes caught sight of a door with the label 'STAIRS', the same one Mari was heading to, she shoved the door open and a poorly lit dark stairwell welcomed us, "Down here."

I shut the door behind me, Mari led the group down the stairs, going around corners.

_ 11th floor_... We went down another flight of stairs. _10th floor_... We kept going down. I lost count of the floor count but we just kept descending down the stairs until I felt a shortness of breath as a constricting sensation occurred around my abdomen, I fell to my knees on a landing of the stairs, clutching my chest.

"Ian! You alright?!" Anthony stopped running to help me. I just wheezed and gasped for air, the feeling on my hand clutching my chest became numb, I brought it up to my face and my hand started fading away.

_Not again. _

I held out my fading hand. Anthony's eyes widened, "Oh crap, not again." He pulled out his phone and looked at a picture of me, he looked terrified.

"W-What is it?" I stuttered. He showed me a picture of me shirtless wearing a diaper, it was from the Halloween episode _'The New Slenderman'_ we shot, but my head was missing, faded away, "Oh God, wait—why do you have that picture of me in your phone?" I raised an eyebrow, confused by the fact that Anthony had that picture.

"Uhmm, none of your business!" He awkwardly backed away then locked his phone.

"Why's his picture doing that?" Mari asked, weirded out.

"I'll explain later, we have to go now." The pain temporarily went away. I stood up to my feet and ushered them to keep going. Mari continued to go down the stairs until we spotted the floor sign: _2ND FLOOR._ We're almost out. But then we heard noises coming from the ground floor, followed by a series of footsteps going up to our spot.

"Shit, the guards!" Anthony cursed.

"In here!" Mari opened the door leading to the second floor. Same dull grey walls and same reflective marble floor. We sprinted to the elevator and it opened, another set of guards were in the elevator waiting for us. Mari turned to the left and was almost snatched by the approaching guard; we all followed her which led us to a dead end. Dozens of guards were walking at us like flood rapidly flowing.

"What are we gonna do now?!" Billy squealed. Mari scanned the area and went to a corner with a metal rectangular cover; she reached for the handle and pulled it open, a trash chute.

"Through here! This leads outside to the dumpster." Mari exclaimed as lots of footsteps drew nearer.

"I don't know, I've had a terrible experience with dumpsters." Billy said. My temper had reached its peak; I lifted him with my two hands then shoved him head first down the trash chute, "WEEEEEE!" his voice echoed.

Mari dove in followed by Anthony and I jumped in next and began sliding down. The chute was stinky and slippery going straight down to the outside world. I kept on sliding till I saw daylight, I landed in a huge trash container, with the piles of trash breaking my fall.

"Mari?! Anthony?! Billy?!" I called. Mari rose from the huge pile of trash bags.

"I'm here!" Mari raised her hand, Anthony rose behind her.

"Same here!" Our clothes were messy, marked with various inks and dirt.

"Where's the idiot?" I asked before something moved between my butt cheeks, a nose. I actually ended up sitting on Billy's face.

"Mmmph!" Billy grunted from under my butt.

"What's that? I can't hear you with my fart." I mustered all my strength and let out the thickest and loudest fart I can.

It was like thunder!

"OH GOOOD!" Billy's arms flailed around the garbage. I cackled at it. Maybe it was a little too mean but it was hella funny.

"Hey dude, get off of him!" Anthony pushed me aside and Billy gasped for air.

"Smells like almonds." Billy remarked, smiling. We climbed out of the trash bin. I couldn't take it anymore, he's caused us enough trouble.

"Billy, I think you should go home." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"You've been slowing us down." I admitted as tears started to flow from the boy's eyes.

"But I-I just wanted to help."

Anthony walked over to Billy, patting his back, "Why are you so hard on the boy?" Anthony ranted, "I told you he has special problems!" I almost forgot about that. "—and he helped you escape." Anthony continued.

"Yeah, only to get us into even more trouble." I sassed my friend.

"You're one inconsiderate jerk, Ian, d'you know that?" Anthony raised his voice.

"At least I'm not dumb." I crossed my arms.

"Whoa! look who's talking Mr. Smartypantz." Anger burned inside me.

"I don't even look anything like Mr. Smartypantz!"

"That was a figure of speech, don't you get it?!" His tone was angrier, "I can't take it anymore, I always have to put up with you, you and your half baked ideas."

"Whoa, half baked?!" My fist closed, "Who's idea was it to take this boy with us?" I pointed to Billy, "He's caused us enough trouble more than he's save us from, no offense Billy." I looked at him and saw him crying his eyes out.

"Look what you did, you made him cry!" Anthony bellowed.

I realized what I just said. Anthony was right, it was too much, "I-I'm sorry Billy." I apologized, reaching out a hand but Anthony slapped it away.

"You've done enough, Ian." Anthony took Billy and walked away from us, "You're a dick." He said, "I can't believe I'm even friends with you. If you'll always gonna be like that, I don't wanna be your friend anymore!"

"FINE!" I pulled out my BFF Necklace and yanked it from my neck, snapping the chain. I threw it on the ground.

"DITTO!" Anthony did the same and even stomped on his half. He and Billy walked away from us, going into the open road.

_ What have I done?!_


	12. Chapter Eleven: A Little Secret

**Ian Hecox**

I had no idea what came over me, I regret everything I said, those hurtful words just came out of anger. I yelled at Anthony, "Anthony! Where are you going, man?" My friend looked back at me, his face red with frustration.

"Away from you!" He shouted and turned his back on me again, his arm around Billy's shoulder, consoling him.

"C'mon don't do this man, I'm sorry!" I apologized; he did not seem to hear.

"You've done enough, Ian!" They continued to walk away from Mari and me.

"I'm sorry!" I whimpered,

"I've had enough of your bullshit." This is ending badly.

"We need to go back!"

"Go on without me!" He yelled, "You'd be better off without me anyway." My eyes became itchy, I was actually tearing up.

"C'mon man! You know I can't leave without you." I wept.

"Forget it." My friend bellowed.

"I'm sorry!" I repeated.

"Whatever, man!" Anthony shook it off, disappearing from my view. Well, it just happened, me and Anthony were no longer friends, which I thought it was impossible, not anymore. We had our fights but we would always sort it out, yet this one was the worst. I buried my head in my hands and cried.

Then Mari's arm wrapped around my shoulder, "Don't worry, it'll be alright, He'll be back." She calmly said.

"I can't leave without him." I said.

"I know how it feels to lose a boyfriend." My head shot up from my hands, _Boyfriend?!_

"Whoa, whoa, me and Anthony are not a couple, Mari." I blurted out.

"I'm kidding." She laughed.

"Can't two guys be close friends without being mistaken as a gay couple?" I complained. "Damn _Ianthony fanfics_."

"It's a joke, cheer up, man!" Mari said.

**Anthony Padilla**

"C'mon man! I'm sorry!" It felt heavy but I couldn't take it anymore, I've had enough of Ian's cocky attitude. I don't want to be friends with him anymore, yeah it's painful after all we've been through but that was the last straw, he'd been too hard on Billy and now look what he did, the boy had been crying for thirty minutes and I have no idea how to calm the poor boy down.

"Billy, it's alright." I softly said as I pat his back, but he continued to sob, his face buried in his hands.

"W-why i-is Ian s-so m-mean?" Billy stuttered, holding back tears.

"Don't worry about him, he's a dick." I said.

"Thanks for sticking up for me back there." Billy smiled.

"No problem, kid, how about we go someplace we could eat? I haven't eaten in ages." I suggested, I don't consider canned dog foods as real food.

"Firetruckin' yeah!" He jumped in excitement. Billy and I went to grab some food at a fast food joint, a couple of mile walk, just to calm our rumbling tummies. I recalled, we haven't eaten anything since we got here. I ordered a vegan meal and an iced tea, "What do you want, Billy?" I asked him, "It's on me."

"R-really?" Billy mumbled.

"Yep." I said, popping the P.

"I'll have the double burger, a Grande sized Coke, large French fries, 16 oz sundae." Whoa, that's a lot for a boy like him.

"Is it okay?" Billy said, his propeller hat spinning, I smiled and nodded, "YAAAY!" He squealed. We ate like barbarians, not caring if there are people looking, we're so hungry. Billy became a close friend, if it weren't for him my ass would be fried and my cock would be sliced.

"This burger tastes so firetruckin' good!" Billy had a foodgasm.

"You know it." I chuckled, my cheeks filled with salad. We even had an eating contest.

"I'm sorry I got in the way between you and Ian." Billy said, still munching on his burger.

"It's okay, he probably deserves it."

"No it's not! It's like your friendship is the balance of the universe!"' I raised an eyebrow, Billy continued, "—at least that's what I've read in the comments section."

"Nah, don't worry, we'll sort this one out some time, but now you need my help, he was too hard on you back there."

Billy then snickered.

"What?" The seriousness of the moment went away.

"You said, _Hard On_." Billy laughed.

"You little devil." I laughed as well. _Another dick joke. _

We were probably laughing most of the time, usually making fun about the people around us and a whole lotta sex jokes. Then my phone vibrated, a text message from Ian:

_**'Hey man, I'm really sorry, come over to our old house and we'll sort this out, I'm really sorry man, I dunno what came over me - Ian'**_

"Who texted you?" Billy asked.

"Ian, he told me to go to our smosh house, to 'sort this out'." I said.

"Let's go to him then!" The boy squeaked.

"Later, after we finish our food!" I pumped a fist into the air. As a few minutes went by, I felt uneasy, my hands started to become sweaty and was trembling, I could feel cold sweat trickling down the side of my face.

"You okay, Anthony?" Billy asked, I didn't respond, my tummy rumbled, my vision became swirly and my gut was telling me to poop.

"What's happening?" Billy asked again.

"I think I ate something bad." I clutched my tummy then glanced at the menu of the restaurant, the ingredients of the vegan salad I ordered had beans and _PRUNES_, lots of them.

"Oh crud." I mumbled.

"What is it?"Billy saw me turn red.

"Prunes… I-I gotta go potty." I dashed from my seat and ran to the guy's restroom,

_OUT OF ORDER._

Why does everything I need to use is always out of order?! _Damn you writer!_

My butthole is about to explode, I looked outside the window: it was almost night time as the sun can no longer be seen. Out in the open I spotted a blue port-a-potty across the street. I ran out the place and walked to it, with Billy following behind me.

I pulled open the door of the port-a-potty, no one's inside, I went in and closed the door, pulled down my pants and sat on the plastic toilet. I was about to let it go, but Billy's inside with me.

"A little privacy, Billy?" I said.

"Oh sorry." He stepped out and I locked the door and let all hell break loose, pooping like there's no tomorrow.

"Anthony?" Billy knocked.

"Urgghhh! What?" I grunted.

"I'm gonna go apologize to Ian, it's my fault that you fought, I have to fix it." He said from outside.

"No let him be." I said.

"I can't stand you two like this; I can't even embrace the fact that you're no longer friends." He said, his tone was filled with guilt.

"Wait for me." I said.

"Sure, how long are you gonna be there?" My gut rumbled again, I don't think that I'll be out of here sooner.

"You know what? I'll catch up later, looks like I'm gonna be in here for a while." I grunted, "Billy?" I called out.

"Yeah?" His voice sounded a little farther away from the wall of the port-a-potty.

"Thanks."

"Anything for my heroes." Silence soon followed, Billy left to sort this issue out, now I gotta find toilet paper, this port-a-potty has none, which is bad.

**Ian Hecox**

I drove the DeLorean back to our old house, and there we waited for Billy and Anthony to come back. I watched the sun set behind the buildings and before I knew it, it was nighttime as the only light source came from the headlights of cars, busy buildings and lamp posts. It was cold, a gust of wind sent shivers through my whole body.

_I hope Anthony got my text._

Mari went outside the car, she must've dozed off a little while ago, right after my friend left us, she stretched her arms and walked closer to me.

"Hey Mari, got enough sleep?" I asked her.

"Yeah." She yawned, "You hungry?'

"Kinda." I realized that I haven't eaten anything yet, ever since that cereal breakfast.

"I'll go swing by Taco Bell, wanna come?"

"Go ahead, I'll stay and wait here for Anthony and Billy." I said, smiling at her.

"I'll get you some food, what do you like?"

My stomach growled, "A burrito would be nice," I smiled, "a large burrito."

"Okay, be back in a few." Mari waved goodbye and went to the store which was a few blocks from here.

I looked up at the sky thinking of what I've done and why is this crazy adventure happening to us, feels like a too good to be true _non-ianthony fanfic_ written by a Sci Fi and Adventure fan but I brushed it off. My bruises throbbed, I forgot that my clothes had been ripped to shreds, so that's why I've been shivering. I glanced down at my shirt and saw my nipples peeking through the torn holes: they're so hard that they can cut diamonds.

"I better get a change of clothes." I thought. I went back into the car and conveniently, Mari brought a bag of Smosh merch with her, I dug into the bag and chose a black shirt with a print of the _Food Battle 2014_ shirt, with the _Rock Candy monster_ striking a pose against the dreaded _Pink Frosted Sprinkled Donut_. It's a little tight around the tummy but it'll do.

_I need to lose weight. _

A little flashback flooded in my head, the time we shot _FB2014_, I was a little hesitant to do it in our Smosh house since every year we would film at my Mom's house, so that episode deviated a little from the series and I was a little stressed when writing it since we had been doing this for 9 years, so it felt rushed and I really don't think that it promised the _'9 times the action'._

I went back to the spot I stood earlier, thinking about a lot of stuff: How can we fix this? What did we do to the bad guy to deserve this? Why am I asking you this question? Why does Anthony have a picture of me in diapers?

"Ian?" A man-child voice came from behind me, I turned around, Billy was there, waving hello at me, his figure was only lit by the lamp posts.

"Billy?" I squinted my eyes, but there was no sight of my pal, "Where's Anthony?" I asked, my eyes searching the place behind Billy.

"He ate a lot of prunes and beans, currently unleashing hell in a port-a-potty near Taco Bell." Billy wrinkled his nose.

"Ohh," Billy walked closer to me. A little awkward moment.

"I told him I'd come here to say I'm sorry." He slightly sat on the hood of the car.

"No, I'm sorry, back there in the alleyway, I couldn't control my anger." I apologized, "You're somewhat below average intelligence."

"It's okay. I always anger people with my stupidity." Billy bowed his head.

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's my fault you and Anthony fought, I'm the one who should be sorry." The boy remarked, "I'm here to fix it, I just can't stand my two idols fighting."

I smiled, "Aww, that's nice of you." I pat his head, his propeller hat twirled and he smiled big enough for me to see his chipped tooth he got when he saved me.

"I always feel uneasy when I see people fighting." Billy behaved like a shyly.

"Nah, don't sweat it, we fight all the time." I smirked. I was a jerk.

"Let's hug it out?" I asked.

"Hell to the yeah." He nodded. I stretched my arms out and Billy did the same, we drew closer and hugged each other, Billy tightened his hug, a sign of affection, anything for a fan who saved me from being jailed.

"I'm sorry." I asked for reassurance.

"I'm sorry too." I heard his voice from behind my back, I pat his back and he did the same.

The hug lasted for a while.

Then a sharp pain stung my hip, something pricked my skin, it felt like a needle. I gasped and looked down: a tiny orange dart was lodged into my side, going through my shirt, the tranquilizer dart. I quickly pulled it out but it was too late, my hip began feeling numb and it started spreading all over my body. I trembled and pulled away from Billy, cold sweat flowing on my face. I glanced at Billy in confusion as my vision blurred, he was smiling…but his smile was different, it was not his usual childish smile, this one's creepy and...

_ Evil._

I collapsed to my knees, "B-B-Billy? Wh-wh—"

"Wh-wh-what?" Billy mocked, he was no longer speaking in his high pitched man child voice.

"It w-was y-you?" My vision worsened.

"You've guessed it." He nodded, "What gave it away? Was it the dart or my evil smile?"

"W-why?" The drug started to take effect, my knees buckled then I knelt of the ground.

"Good question, Ian." He scratched his chin and started walking about, "Maybe because an asshole friend decided that it would be fun to humiliate his buddy in front of thousands of fans."

"W-What d-does it have to d-do with us?" I fought the drowsiness.

"It's because of that asshole, Anthony." He continued to walk.

"Wh-what does it ha-have to do with him?" I twitched as I slowly collapsed of the ground.

"I hate him, I hate him so bad." Billy said through gritted teeth. "—so much pain he caused."

"W-what t-the fuck are you talking about? Anthony hasn't done anything to you." I wheezed, "He had been helping you ever since we got here!"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you—" He whispered, "—Shh, I'm gonna let you in on my little secret." He ripped his hat from his head and threw it on the ground, snapping the propeller blade in half. He drew closer to me, staring me down...

"I AM YOU."

Those words rang through my brain, I was torn between believing him and not. I couldn't even think straight since the dart was spreading the drug through my system.

"W-wha—?" my words were piling on top of each other.

"Oh, come on, I never thought I was that dumb, all I wore was a stupid propeller hat for Pete's sake." The 'other me' whined. Suddenly I was able to connect the dots: Mari told me that the future us fought last VidCon 2015. This was the future Ian, disguised as Billy, acting all stupid and stuff to tear us apart.

"W-why did yo-you even save me f-from th-th—"

"The police?" He finished my broken words, "One, I don't want to be a black guy's bitch in prison, and Two, I need you to retrieve the glove for me."

I noticed that I was still wearing the glove, I moved my hand to reach for the pause button but my free hand became limp.

"Now, now, bad Ian." The evil me stepped on my hand reaching for the glove.

"AARRGHH! You bastard." I yelled, the grooves of his shoe dug into my fingers, he added more weight to his foot to the point that he almost flattened my hand. My other hand struggled to free my right, weakly smacking Evil Ian's shoe.

I kept on screaming, but he doesn't seem to care. I bit my shirt. _The pain…the unbearable pain._

"S-stop, p-p-ple-ase!" I screamed.

Ian let out a cackle, putting even more pressure on my hand, "If you hurt yourself is it called, _self-inflicted pain_?" He twitched.

"P-please." I laid my back on the ground, facing upward at him. He bent over and forcefully yanked the glove from my left hand. He then removed his foot; I flinched and held my right hand with the other, swollen and purple, throbbing erratically.

"H-how d-did you—?" I asked.

"Find you?" He pulled out something from his back pocket, my blurred sights tried to focus at what he was holding: _THE DUPLICATE GLOVE_, "Remember back in the Donut Factory?" He waved the duplicate at my face, "I kept it with me ever since, I knew it'll come in handy."

"W-why do you e-even need o-ours?"

"Oh yeah, remember that one time our Teleporting Fat Guy friend blamed the Neighbor?" He crouched down at me, the light from the lamp posts illuminating evil Ian's menacing stare, "He was pointing at me and not The Neighbor, you probably never felt it but I quickly dealt with that fatass, and doing so ruined my glove."

"Wh-what did-d you do t-to him?!" My eyelids were heavy.

Evil Ian never replied, he just grinned instead.

"You'll never get away with this." I grasped on his pants, trying to stop him from getting too far but doing so wasn't helping. My feeble hands attempted to pull my entire limp body upward, but it was no use.

"Who will stop me? You?" Evil Ian laughed loudly, "—with Anthony not by your side? You're pretty much fucked. No one will help you now, I'll make you suffer the pain I endured." He took my hand off his pants and pushed me back on the ground where I laid and stared up the starless sky, my eyelids closed shut.

All I saw is darkness.


	13. Chapter Twelve: Catch Him

**Anthony Padilla**

What a relief, I finally finished my poop session, managed to find something to wipe my ass with, a ticket to a _Justin Bieber concert_. I pulled up my pants and slipped them on, buckling the belt and zipping up the fly.

"Whoo! That's the biggest shit I have ever made." I looked down at the toilet: it's really nasty, a mixture of solid and liquid sludge, the stench made me gag, feels like I'll lose my lunch. Then I pushed open the door but the door won't open all the way as something's blocking it. I guess I'm stuck here for a while... Stuck in this little claustrophobic place, thankfully there's a toilet lid to block out the smell of my excrement, I slowly slumped down the corner of the port-a-potty, and actually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>I inched my eyes open, hoping the thing blocking the door is now gone, I pushed open the door, this time it opened all the way outside. Thank God. Now I gotta go find Ian, I looked at my watch and it was at around 9PM in the evening, I must've fallen asleep in here longer than I thought.<p>

I took a cab to our old smosh house, and after a lengthy thirty-minute ride, I finally arrived and found Ian leaning by the DeLorean, his figure lit by the lamp posts and the moonlight, I noticed he had changed his clothes: the _Food Battle 2014_ shirt, the exact same print on the title card of the video, Ian's eyes met mine and he smiled as a greeting.

"Hey man." I greeted as I walked towards him, "Where's Billy?" I noticed that Billy was nowhere in sight.

"I don't know, probably got lost in the way."

"He told me he'd come here." I said.

"You know how stupid he is." Ian scoffed.

"Ian..." I stared at him, he just smiled wide that his teeth shone in the night, one tooth caught my attention, it was a slightly chipped tooth near the left molar but I ignored it.

"What's taking Billy so long?" I asked.

"Why are you even waiting for him? We should go now, leave him and catch that bad guy messing with our lives."

"I thought you were gonna make peace with the boy?" I raised my voice.

"I do, but, he's too dumb to help us, it's best that you send him home."

"First, you hurt his feelings, then you're gonna abandon him? Jerk."

"Come on, Anthony, he's just slowing us down, you know that."

"It'll break his heart if we do that to him."

"So what? He's a nobody."

"You inconsiderate jerk, no wonder fans hate you." I tried to bottleneck my anger.

"So I care."

"Oh my God Ian! You're pathetic." I rubbed my face with my palms, grunting in disbelief.

"No I'm not, Billy is." He smirked.

"That's it Ian, I'm out." I finally snapped, turning my back on him, then walking away.

"Anthony, where are you going?" He yelled as I left him.

"We've been through this, I've had it!" I shouted. Then my crotch hit a trash bin, hitting my manhood, I jerked away from the bin then cradled it, "OW MY BALLS!" I heard Ian laugh at my clumsiness. I glanced at him, he was laughing. I flipped him off and walked away.

**Ian Hecox**

The sound of chirping birds and noisy people entered my ears, my heavy eyes slowly opened partially letting the light into it, my vision hasn't cleared up yet but I could tell it was morning.

_Where am I? What happened?_

Then a figure in red appeared over me, still blurred and blocking out the sun's rays. I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to clear my sights.

"Wha-who?" I mumbled.

"Ian? what are you doing on the ground?" He said, "—and why are you topless?"

_ Topless?!_

I dizzyingly sprang up to my feet and touched my chest, and yeah I was shirtless…and muddy. I raised my right hand, the glove was gone, while my left hand was closed and something was inside it. I slowly lifted my fingers that were around the object and my sight slowly cleared: in my hand was the orange tranquilizer dart.

"Ian?" The boy tapped my shoulder, I turned around and my blood boiled: the same red Pokémon shirt and the same beanie propeller hat.

"YOU!" I said, teeth clenched, I grabbed his shirt, pressed him against a tree and raised him.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, IAN?!" I yelled.

"No please! I don't know what you're talking about!" His hands covered his face.

"Like you don't know!" Anger flowed inside my thoughts, I raised a fist ready to strike.

"I really don't know, please!" The boy cried, he started crying, his feet weren't touching the ground and his face was scrunched up, "Please don't hit me!"

My anger suddenly went away, it's like something's telling me not to hit him. I slowly lowered my hands and looked straight into his eyes: his expression was genuine, looked like he's telling the truth.

He was breathing and sweating heavily, scared of what just happened.

"I-I'm sorry." I stuttered, lowering him back to the ground. He flinched and his face was frozen in shock.

I let go of him then held his lips and stretched it open, "W-wathh ahh yuhh duighh?" He said as I parted his mouth open with my hands and checked for some chipped or missing tooth…there were none_. _

_ It's the real Billy_.

"I'm sorry, man." I gave him a hug.

I heard him let out a sigh of relief, "It's alright, even after you violated my mouth." He said.

"Sorry." I apologized again, "How long have I been out?"

"I don't know, I just got here from your old house." Billy said.

"But my house is right he—" I turned around and I wasn't near the Smosh house, instead I was at the park, standing on the grassy landscape and caught sight of the green and yellow playground at the center, the site where we shot outdoor videos like _Food Battle 2012_ and _ManSpider_. I suppose I was taken here when I was out.

"Wait, why were you at our house?" I asked Billy.

"First I was trapped by Molester Moon, but then he let me go." He smiled.

"Probably for being too stupid and annoying." I mumbled.

"What's that?" he overheard me.

"I mean-uh for being such a good friend." I lied, "Why is Molester Moon in there?"

"I don't know, I could only remember me and your best friend Anthony searching the place a couple of days ago. I went into the garage to find some stuff then he popped out of nowhere, I tried to run but a man who kinda looks like you shot a dart at me."

"Ian." I interjected.

"The next day I woke up tied to a chair next to an overweight man."

"Does this man have brown hair and is wearing a white wife beater shirt?"

"Yes, how did you know?" His eyes twinkled.

"Where is he now?" I bellowed.

"Probably still in the Smosh house." He replied.

"We gotta go and get Anthony." I fished for my phone and dialed for him, first attempt, no answer. The line went busy, but I gotta try, after two more attempts I gave up, sadly accepting that he didn't want talk to me anymore.

Suddenly my phone vibrated, it was a text from my best friend:

'_**If you're gonna try and convince me again to 'settle this' then tough luck buddy! I've had enough of your bullshit.'**_

It was like being punched in the gut, Anthony was gone, I lost my best friend. I tried calling again but he won't answer, I just bowed my head in sadness.

"So what are you gonna do now?" Billy asked.

I sighed, "I save Teleporting Fat Guy, and stop myse—my _EVIL_ self on my own." I had to face the consequences of my actions.

"What about Anthony?"

"I don't know," I shook my head, "I have to fix this on my own, but first I gotta find a shirt, 'cause the sun's burning my skin." I looked at my tummy and it started turning red.

"Here, take my shirt." Billy pulled up his shirt, his propeller hat almost getting caught by the collar.

"Wait, what about y—?" Beneath his shirt is another shirt, the exact same red Pokémon t-shirt.

"What the? You were wearing two shirts?" I'm confused.

"I always carry two, in case some people get cold or be sedated and thrown somewhere isolated."

"Thanks." I thanked him and slipped on the red shirt, "Now to save TFG."

"I'm here, I'll help." Billy eagerly raised his hand, offering his help.

"No, it'll be dangerous." I replied.

"Please?" He smiled at me with puppy eyes.

* * *

><p>I slowly approached the old rundown house, the paint and walls fully illuminated by the moonlight, the shattered windows reflecting me stepping onto the lawn. It was a sight to horrible for me to bear but I must get in there.<p>

_ Whoa, did I just made a rhyme?_

"So when do we strike?" Billy appeared behind me, fixing his hat.

"We do this quietly and subtly." I replied, "Now tell me, who is with TFG in there?"

"Only Molester Moon, kinda stereotypical to be held hostage by one inept guard."

"Alright, great, we bring him to us."

"How?" Billy raised an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Remember the Smosh episode, _'Molester Moon'_?"

"Yeah, I love that episode!" He smiled, "You send three Molester Moon Emojis and—ohhh, alright." He finally got it, "How can we force answers from him?"

"Interrogation." I pulled out a hollow _Celery Stick_ as a makeshift peashooter and loaded the orange dart in the celery, "Now you go by the door and I'll send you the emojis." I took off his hat and replaced it with a short brown hair and slapped on a fake mustache on him.

"Why me?" Billy whined, "I-I'm scared!"

"C'mon Billy, you can do this!" I covered his red shirt with a blue sweater, "Perfect! So he wouldn't know it's you."

"Ian, I don't think I can do this." Billy was terrified, he started shaking.

"Do you love Smosh?" I asked him.

"Yeah!" He cheered, his eyes watering with excitement.

"Do you wanna save the day?"

"Yeah!" He started jumping up and down, propeller hat spinning rapidly.

"Do you want cookies?" I asked again, this time, my voice was raised.

"HELL YEAH!" He was overflowing with eagerness.

"Do you wanna be the bait?" I grinned.

"FRICK YEAH! Wait what?!"

"Cool, have fun." I shoved him to the front door. He stumbled on the front lawn, trembling and peeing his pants in the process, "I'll be right here, just stay where you are."

"O-ook-kay." He stuttered. I sent him the three moon Emojis. Billy's phone beeped thrice and there the plan started. I hid inside a trash bin and closed it above my head but leaving it slightly open for a peep hole.

Billy was shaking uncontrollably, his knees buckled as Molester Moon slowly went sideways through the door, that's new, last time he couldn't get through those. His eyes widened as he saw Billy trembling, his mouth smiled and exposed his yellow teeth.

"I'M GONNA MOLEST YOU!" He cackled as he began skipping towards him. The boy's face was way more frightened this time compared to when I was about to beat him up.

"I'M GONNA MOLEST YOU!" He continued skipping towards Billy.

And that was my que, I jumped up from the bin and aimed my peashooter at him. He looked away from the boy and looked straight at me.

I blew hard on the tube and it launched the dart at him but he turned sideways and it hit Billy instead.

"Ow! That hurt." The boy shrieked.

"Oh shit." Molester Moon lunged at me, knocking me on the ground. His hand made its way to my neck and grasped my throat. I struggled to pry his hand from my neck but it was hopeless.

"Guckkkk ackkk." I screamed, my eyes were rolling upwards as my breaths were squeezed out of me.

"I'M GONNA MOLES—" He gasped suddenly and his grip around my neck loosened, his eyes were frozen in shock. He tipped to his side and fell face down on the ground, twitching then going stiff. On his left butt cheek was the orange dart. I glanced up and there Billy stood, swaying as the tranquilizer started taking effect on him.

"Go to sleep, bitch." He mumbled.

"Thanks man, I thought I'm dead." I sprang up to my feet.

"Don't mention it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take a little nap." The boy collapsed on the ground, knocked out by the dart.

"Great." I sighed that I had two bodies to drag inside. I started pulling Molester Moon's body along the yard and into the house.

"What are you doing there, young man?" An old man wearing overalls stood by the sidewalk looking at what I was doing, his glasses sitting on his wrinkly crooked nose.

"Oh nothing, he's just high." I smiled at him, praying that he would buy it.

"Freaking Bath Salts." He brushed it off then walked away.


	14. Chapter Thirteen: The Interrogation

**Ian Hecox**

Warm sweat dripped down my face, I was panting heavily and my shirt was drenched in sweat, probably because of pulling a big grey Moon-like unconscious body into the house. I pulled the sleeping Molester Moon into the living room and hastily forced him to sit upright on our old heavy rotating chair. I ran to the old garage and grabbed a length of rope and tape then wrapped the rope around his body bounding him to the chair, doing it as quick as I could as the drug had begun wearing off. I tied his hands, feet and torso down, restraining all movements and before taping his mouth shut.

I ran outside and pulled Billy's unconscious body by the feet into the house. I glanced at Molester Moon and saw him starting to regain his senses.

"C'mon Billy, I need you to wake up now." I said as I pulled him up the porch. I kept tugging until we reached the front door but then something prevented me from pulling him any farther, I struggled with all my strength to pull him inwards.

"Owee." I heard him yell. I looked back, his chin was hooked on the corner, "Ouch, you're ripping my head off." He ranted.

"Oh good, you're awake." I said, "—now get up and we need to deal with Molester Moon."

"Can you just pull me in? I don't think I can get up right now."

"You lazy bastard, fine." I sighed and smiled, I continued to pull him and this time a little faster.

"WEEEEE!" He cheered as his back brushed against the carpet of the living room.

"Alright, that's enough." I let go of his feet and he quickly stood up then closed the front door. I went past the kitchen, into the hallway and walked straight to my old room. I twisted the knob but it wouldn't let me in.

"You're going down, door!" I backed away, pulled out a big-ass _Master Sword_ and aimed at the door. I raised the sword up high then brought it down, "AYAAAHH!" The blade swiftly sliced through the wood, cracking it all the way to the bottom. I yanked away the sword before kicking the two halves in, opening the room, "HAI-YA!"

I went inside, nothing but pitch black. My hand reached for the switch and pressed it. The light flickered on and I first noticed my old mahogany bed was not in place, it was moved to the corner and not in its best condition as the bed itself was broken in half, the mattress stained with lots of black and brown spots that reeked so bad. The used to be white-painted room was vandalized with a repetitive phrase:

_SMOSH IS GONE_

This was probably all of evil Ian's doing, he was consumed with rage to get revenge at Anthony which makes me wonder, _what did Anthony do to make him this evil?_

At the center of the room, two figures were tied to a back to back chair; both their eyes were staring at me: _Mari and Teleporting Fat Guy._

"Mari!" I ran to her and gently pulled off the tape from her mouth, her eyes filled with fear and dread as she looked at me.

"Get away from me, Ian!" She wailed. I jumped but I held her shoulder.

"Mari, it's me!" I pled.

"Yeah, the one who put me to sleep and brought me into this." She raised her voice.

"No, that's not me, you gotta believe me." _Damn, this is getting hard to explain._

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

Then I noticed Teleporting Fat Guy struggle, I forgot to remove his tape so I did, quickly ripping off the tape from his mouth.

He let out a shriek as the tape plucked out some of his facial hair. "You should believe him." TFG said, "—only the good ol' Ian would be dumb enough to burst through the door with a big ass sword instead of just getting the keys from Molester Moon." He smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Whoops, I totally forgot about that." I scrunched my nose and Mari agreed.

"Then who was that?" Mari said wriggling in her restraints, "The guy who sedated me?"

"Me—I mean, the _evil me_." I told her.

"Why is he evil?" Mari asked as she continued to struggle.

I held her cheeks and forced her to look at me, her auburn eyes met my blue ones. "Listen to me, what happened in _VidCon 2015_ that made me and Anthony fight?"

"Ah wud tell yu ifthh yuhhh let guhh of mah facethhh." I was squeezing Mari's cheeks too much that it muffled her words.

"Oh sorry." I let go.

"Smosh was chosen to have a little performance this year's VidCon—" She narrated. "—your performance was running smoothly when Anthony accidentally played Ian's collection of private videos in front of thousands of fans."

I gasped, "W-What private video?" I stuttered… _I have a lot of embarrassing videos._

"All of your videos, one where you were dancing ballet, the other one where you danced to _Rebecca Black's Friday_ wearing nothing but a shirt and that—"

"Okay, okay! That's enough." I stopped her there, "How did he get those videos?"

"Most likely because you've been recording with his laptop." She continued.

"I thought that was my laptop." I said.

"Didn't you notice the huge-ass Link sticker on the cover?" She rolled her eyes.

"Nevermind that, but why did he play it, what was he thinking?"

"He told me he mislabeled the compilation and sent it to the main projector."

"Why did I flip out?" I was eager for answers.

"Looks like you thought it was a set up and everyone laughed at you, you've spent for the rest of your life telling yourself that Anthony ruined your life." Mari stopped.

"And he's going to ruin more." TFG interjected.

"I know, he has the glove and we have nothing, and I let him take it from me, it's my fault." I banged my head on the wall accepting the fact that this was hopeless. The burning pain spread on my forehead.

"Don't be too hard on yourself, it's not your fault, well some of it isn't." Mari attempted to comfort me.

"Yes it's mine!" I threw a fit, "I never should have left the duplicate glove with my younger self in the donut factory." I punched the wall. I was angry, angry at myself for being too careless. Everything that's happening to us right now is all because of my actions, right from the start, because of my cocky attitude.

"Please, Ian, we can't change that anymore, you need to focus on the matter at hand." Mari said.

"We gotta find evil me." I ran to the doorway.

"IAN!" Mari screamed. I turned my head back at them, "Could you please untie us?" She said

"Oh, sorry." I went back to untie them.

* * *

><p>We surrounded Molester Moon as he regained consciousness, his gray face looked at me as his eyes opened, his expression was genuinely surprised that we have him by the balls now. Metaphorically, not literally.<p>

"Mmmph mmphh!" He muffled under his taped mouth. Billy ripped it off, "Wh-where am I?" His tiny voice squeaked.

"Well, duh idiot, you're still in the Smosh House." I said in a deep voice. I shone a light on his face, pretty much like a _noir crime movie_ where the lead character interrogates a goon.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"Answers." Billy joined in, trying to scare off Molester Moon.

"What's Ian's plan?" I interrogated.

"You ain't forcing answers from me!" He laughed, biting his lips as a sign of nervousness.

"We'll see about that." I went into the kitchen and grabbed a box labeled _'IAN'S STUFF'_. I took out a huge white feather and started tickling his nose, his eyes twitched, trying to maintain his calmness. His head tried shaking the feather away but I followed his nose.

"Where did Ian go?" I fluttered the feather deeper into his nostrils.

"I-I-aahhh w-won't aaahhh chooo!" He sneezed, spraying Billy with thick gooey snot.

"Aagh! Gross!" Billy shivered, walked to the kitchen then washed his face in the sink.

"You're a tough one. Let's see you handle this, Mari? Would you please?" I gestured at Mari and she just smirked. She untied one of Molester Moon's feet and was helped by Billy and TFG so he won't be able to kick. I brushed the feather on his feet, his toes kept moving, resisting the tickling sensation.

"Stop! Hahaha!" The captive laughed.

"Where's Evil Ian?" I asked him.

"Up—haha your—ha ass." This one's a tough nut to crack.

I decided to go higher. "Wow, but can you handle this?" I tickled his crotch, his free leg started kicking about, he laughed uncontrollably.

"Where's Ian?" I repeated.

"I won't tell you!" He laughed, "Please stop! I'm gonna pee!" A wet stain began spreading on his grey tights.

"Daaaaamn." TFG and Billy cringed.

I dug deeper into my box and found a long rubbery object, a purple double ended _dildo_. My face reddened, I looked at the shocked expressions of the three, _this isn't mine_. Damn you Anthony, he must've put this in here before.

"Eeww, what's that?" Billy was disgusted.

"It's a balloon animal." I lied.

"Oh cool! My mom had a tiny smooth rubber Christmas Tree that she keeps between her thighs." He smiled, "Can I play with it?"

My face scrunched in disgust, "S-sure?" I handed him the toy.

"Yay! I'll name you Snakey." Billy laughed, jiggling the 'toy' around. I glanced back up at Mari and Teleporting Fat Guy, their mouths still hanging open and Molester Moon snickering in the background.

"It's not mine, I swear!" I shouted, "Anthony must've put it in there."

"That's the reason why they have _Ianthony fanfics._" Mari cackled.

"Shut up." I dug into the box as Billy watched me.

The boy also dug into the box, "Whoa!" He pulled out a blue man-thong. It's not mine either. "Cool!" He grinned, putting on the Thong over his pants.

"Dude?! Take it off! That's Anthony's underwear." I think those are the exact ones that he wore in the Smosh video: _'I Can Hear Your Thoughts'_.

"Even better." Billy added, shaking his waist, this boy's really weird. I continued to go through the things in the box, "There's gotta be something in here that'll make him talk." I mumbled.

"How about the bat?" Mari referred to the long aluminum baseball bat sticking out of the box, "We could just beat him up till he cracks. Mafia style."

"That's a little too graphic for a 'child friendly' action story." I remarked. Yeah, _'child friendly'_.

I kept looking for something to use, digging until my hands felt a plastic bottle container. I pulled it out from the box and it scared the creep outta me, I shrieked then tossed it back in the box, it was my mortal enemy: her evilly curled hair, her scary smile and her wrinkled face... _Aunt Jemima._

"What? What is it?" Mari went by my side.

"There!" My trembling hand pointed to the syrup bottle.

Mari grabbed it from the pile of stuff, "This?" She shoved it into my face.

"NOO! PLEASE NO!" I slapped the bottle from her grip.

"Whoa! What is that?" Billy skipped to Mari's side, now the thong's on his head, picking up the bottle.

"Just some expired syrup." Mari said.

"Can I have it? I have a huge collection of syrup bottles at my house." Billy asked me.

"Yeah, just keep it away from me." I added, there's gotta be something bad enough to make Molester Moon speak.

"Look guys! I'm an Indian!" The boy yelled, we looked at him and now the 'toy' was strapped to the back of his head by the thong, like a feather from those Indian films, "Me Chief Billy!" He folded his arms as the sex toy jiggled.

"Shut up! You're annoying!" The captive cried.

DING! I think I just hatched an amazing idea.

"Billy what's the song from 2013 that was about that orange animal?" I scratched my beard.

"Oh you mean, '_What does the fox say_?'"

"Could you go in front of Molester Moon and sing it to him?" Mari decided to play along. Billy went in front of the captive and started dancing wildly.

_ "What does the fox say?! Ting ting ting tingtitintiting tiningning ning!"_ Billy sang off key.

"I hate that song!" Molester Moon struggled from his binds.

"Tell us where Ian is if you want him to stop." I asked.

"I won't tell you!" He yelled at me.

"Alright, Billy, what was the _KPop song_ that broke YouTube's views?"

_ "Oppa Gangnam Style!"_ The boy started to dance like that Psy guy in the video, _"Op-Op-opwopwop, Oppa Gangnam Style, Heeeeeey Sexy Ladeh!"_

"Please stop!" The grey guy started tearing up but tried to maintain his calm.

"Answer the damn question!"

"NO!"

"Fine then, what was the song about butts last year?" I asked Billy.

"Which one? 2014's the year of the butts." The boy asked.

"_Nicki Minaj's_"

Billy turned around, bent over and started twerking in Molester Moon's face, his butt cheeks jiggled in rhythm, _"My anaconda don't! My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!"_Billy sang. Teleporting Fat Guy and Mari snickered.

"Please stop! I'm begging you!" Looks like he's gonna give in.

"WHERE. IS. IAN?!" I raised my voice.

"I won't tell!"

Then without any warning, Billy farted in his face, farted so loud that it echoed in the place.

"AGHHH!" He shouted as he coughed.

"Oopsie Daisy." Billy said sheepishly.

"Alright! Alright! I'll tell you!" He gave in but the boy was still twerking in his face, "Please just make him stop!" He cried, "He said he'll go back to VidCon 2012 at the time you made a 'Magic show'."

"Why the hell there?" I asked, "Oh God, Billy! That fart's making my eyes burn!" Tears came from my eyes, it was like his flatulence was a tear gas.

"I don't know, but we all know Ian can be dumb sometimes, causing even more trouble instead of fixing it." Molester Moon's eyes watered as well.

_ True. I can be dumb sometimes._

_ "Yeah, he loves this fat ass!"_Billy sang, still shaking his booty.

"Billy! That's enough!" I slapped his butt; he stood up and turned to face Molester Moon.

TFG said, coughing and fanning away the stench, "Alright, now that we know when Ian is going, you should go after him."

"We can't, I don't have the glove, not even the duplicate." I bowed my head.

"I won't be so sure about that." Mari pulled out from behind her a gray rubber glove with a black plastic box with buttons stuck to the surface of the rubber.

"THE GLOVE!" The three of us cheered.

"Where did you get this—erm, excuse me." I ran to the window and pushed it open, letting in fresh air, the fart was just too bad.

The others also gasped for air, "I kept it with me when the other you sedated me. Before I was knocked out, I saw the glove lying on the ground, so I hid it under my shirt, just in case." Mari coughed,

"You're the best!" I smiled. I stared at it again and saw burns on the circuitry, "This is the destroyed duplicate!" I kicked a huge box in anger.

_ "That was easy."_

"Whoa, what's that?" TFG asked. I opened the box and a familiar plastic button caught my attention, _The Easy Button._

"It's just this easy button." I showed it to him.

"This is not just an easy button; we could use this to fix the glove."

"How?"

"Using the parts inside it, dumbass." He said.

"Oh God, my fart does smell bad." Billy sniffed.

* * *

><p>"Oh yeah! It's finished!" Teleporting Fat Guy raised the glove, "Fully functioning one hundred percent!"<p>

"You fixed it?" Billy asked.

"No I made love with it and I'm the father OF COURSE I FIXED IT, DUMBO!" He sprayed Billy with saliva. TFG turned to me.

He presented the glove to me, "I think you should wear this for now."

"Why?" I took a step backward.

"I think it's best you that use it to right all your wrongs." He said, seriousness dashed across his face. I took the glove and scrutinized it and bowed down my head, thinking of the problems ahead.

"Wait, what about Anthony?" Mari asked.

"I'll stay behind and look for him, you three go before it's too late." TFG said, "I'll get him to you as soon as possible."

"Thanks man." I nodded, accepting the deal. I slowly slipped on the glove on my other hand, that feeling of rubber brushing against my skin, that usual feeling... _Just like old times._

"This is for Smosh and for Anthony." I pressed the coordinates.

_06-28-2012; 10:00_

Two hands placed on both of my shoulders: to my left was Mari, her cute kawaii face smiling at me, to my right was Billy.

"Let's do this." The boy cheered.

"TO VIDCON 2012!" I yelled and pressed the button. Everything faded to white.


	15. Chapter Fourteen: VidCon 2012

**Ian Hecox**

Well here we go, traveling three years into the past, to the place where thousands of people gather annually to meet their favorite YouTube stars: _The Third Annual VidCon_, held always in Los Angeles, California. This particular convention, however, was one of the rarest times that we performed live in front of our over-supportive fans.

I could only see the familiar wormhole we travelled a while back. I looked to my side, Mari stood frozen, her last expression before traveling through time was still etched on her face: eager and smiling, ready to face the dangers ahead. Billy also had the same mood on his face: willing and excited. I smiled at the sight of them locked and loaded, even though they're just pulled into this mess.

Another flash of light, and my feet felt solid ground, the sounds of cars and people made its way into my ears. As my vision cleared, the bright midday sun got into my eyes. I saw countless people walking past us moving in every direction, palm trees in the distance, standing tall and waving against the gust of warm wind. Dozens of cars drove on intersecting roads, mostly composed of yellow and blue taxi cabs.

_We're in the busy streets of Los Angeles._

"We made it." I said to Mari and Billy, both of their hands were still on my shoulders.

"Ian, where are we?" Mari asked. I looked around, checking if there's some landmark here to know where we spawned. My eyes went down from the buildings to the ground we're standing: black tiles and brass stars were stuck to the floor.

"I know where we're at!" Billy suddenly shouted, "We're in _Broadway_!"

"No, dumbass, we're in the _Hollywood Walk of Fame_!" I shouted and Billy sunk in his spot.

_ The Hollywood Walk of Fame_, the place where if one's famous enough, their name will go down in history. Their own personal brass star stuck on the ground, but it makes me wonder that why is it on the floor? So jealous people can stomp on you figuratively? It should have been on a wall. Oh well, nevermind that.

We noticed a banner hanging across the wide road of L.A. painted maroon, with huge letterings printed on it:

_THE 3RD ANNUAL VIDCON  
><em>_JUNE 28-30, 2012  
><em>_ANAHEIM CONVENTION CENTER, 10AM_

"What's next?" Mari asked. I looked at my watch: it was fifteen minutes past 10AM.

"We have to go to the convention center." I said. As far as I could remember, the live show of Smosh was 1PM and we came a little late. Ian must've already beaten us there.

I walked onto the busy road, waving my hands in the air in an act of desperation, "HEY! TAXI!" I yelled and a number of cars swerved around me, honking their horns angrily and one almost ran me over, but I was _really_ desperate to get to VidCon.

Finally a taxi stopped near us, parking by the sidewalk. I walked to the driver's window, it rolled down and a curly-haired, middle-aged man greeted us.

"Where to?" The driver asked.

"To Anaheim Convention Center." I said out of breath.

"Hop in, bud." He smiled.

"Thanks, man." I motioned for Billy and Mari to get into the back of the cab and we forced ourselves into the crowded back seat, a tight squeeze.

"You know, there's a lot of room beside me, right?" The driver looked at us as we looked like tuna in a can.

I went out of the cab and sat beside the driver, "Okay man, let's go." The driver revved the engine.

VROOM! VROOM! The engine roared, then the car left the spot but surprisingly driving slower than we expected. I looked at the driver, "Really dude? Can't you go any faster?"

"Sorry man, my father specifically told me not to go above 15 miles an hour." The driver admitted with much guilt. I looked at his dashboard and saw at label on the speedometer gauge, the speed indicator from 20 and above was covered in post-it notes, with the sentence saying:

_DON'T GO ABOVE 15!_

I grunted in disbelief, "Please can you go any faster? We need to get there quick." I was annoyed as the cab travelled a slow pace on the road.

"No can do." He said without looking at me, his eyes glued to the road.

"Just this one time! Your dad's not gonna know anything!"

"I can't, I don't wanna break rules." He started to sound pressured.

"C'mon man! Please!" I pled or this would take a while.

"I'm sorry, bro." He continued to apologize. I scratched my head in annoyance and remembered the glove was with me.

"You know what?" I shot a dart at him, "—I'm driving." he looked at me with a dash of confusion, he started twitching.

"W-what did you do to me?!" He said breathless, clutching his chest and shaking uncontrollably.

"Putting you to slee—OH MY GOD WRONG DART!" I accidentally shot the Viagra dart instead of the Tranquilizer, yet again. Something rose from his crotch and we all knew what it was.

"HOLY SHIT!" Mari bellowed as she watched the horror unfold in front of her eyes.

"OH GOD! IT'S GONNA POKE MY EYE OUT!" Billy screamed then covered his eyes.

"So that's what Viagra does to you." The driver looks in astonishment as his manhood grew. I quickly shot the right one on his chest and his head slumped backwards sound asleep, his unconscious foot pushed the gas pedal deeper making the car zoom like a _Formula One racecar_, whiplashing our heads against the seat as the meter went past 15 miles per hour.

"IAN! THE ROAD!" Mari yelled. I grabbed the steering wheel and drove in between cars, swerving and near-missing oncoming traffic.

"WEEEEE! This is like the roller coasters in _Six Flags_!" Billy cheered. I glanced at the side mirror and found him sticking out his head from the right backseat window. He dangled out his tongue, pretty much what a dog would usually do, his cheeks flailed against the wind.

I just rolled my eyes and looked back at the road but then I saw a parked car with an open door. I shot a look back at the right side mirror; Billy still had his head out.

"BILLY, WATCH O-!" I reacted too late; I wasn't able to swerve the car away.

CLANG! The other car's open door smacked Billy's head. I have to admit, it was kinda funny, he went cross-eyed, dizzy, but he was still smiling.

"I can see stars! Let's go again!" He mumbled, his head still sticking out. I thought I was gonna see a decapitation, which would've been cool and scary at the same time.

"Mari, pull him back in! I don't want to see flying heads." I told Mari before gluing my eyes back on the road. I tried to lift the sleeping guy's foot off the gas but it was stuck on something, and to make matters worse, we were approaching an intersection.

The traffic light went from green to yellow.

"Ian!" Mari said. I put my left foot out and pushed the gas pedal even deeper, the engine roared, going faster, approaching the yellowed stop light.

"We'll make it!" I shouted, my hands firmly gripped the steering wheel.

"IAN!"

"WE CAN DO IT!" The engine roared louder, this is it… _there's no turning back._

"IAAAANNN!" Mari's rants were followed by a high-pitched scream. My heart skipped a beat as we went past the yellow light and the stopped cars and everything around me turned slow-mo as the stoplight at the other side fade from yellow to red while the intersecting road turned green. I floored it even more, zooming past the cars coming from both left and right. The car narrowly made it through the busy crossing, I took a gasp of air, relieved that it was over. After going past the cars, I lifted my foot from the gas then forcefully yanked the unconscious driver's foot from it, tearing open his shoe. I quickly stepped on the brakes and steered the car to the side, going into full stop.

Mari's eyes were shut and her mouth wide open, still screaming her lungs out. Her arms were around an unconscious Billy.

I leaned in and shook her shoulders, "Mari! Mari! It's okay! Stop screaming!" I continued to shake her.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" She still screamed.

"Mari!" I slapped her silly and she finally stopped.

"Did we make it?" She trembled.

"Yeah." I smiled at her.

She started punching my shoulders, "DONT. YOU. EVER. DO. THAT. AGAIN!" Every word with a corresponding punch, but after that her arms wrapped around me, hugging me tightly.

"You're a crazy, crazy man." I heard her say, she still has her arms around me, "That was scary!" Then I felt a warm kiss on my cheek, my eyes grew wide in shock as her lips were still on my cheek, a long and wet kiss. She finally pulled away, smiling at me.

"Hey, you're blushing." She grinned.

"Wha—?" I stared at her, then turned around to look at my reflection on the rear view mirror, my pale face was indeed red. I turned back to Mari, "Yes, I am." I laughed, we hugged again.

Billy's head sprang up, "What I miss?" He asked as he saw us hugging.

"Just some near-death moment." I said before going out of the car and walking to the driver's side. I opened the door and pulled the sleeping man from the car as Mari also stepped outside, grabbing the man's feet, "Bring him to the back seat." I said as we lifted the man to the backseat and shoved him beside Billy.

He ended up lying down on Billy with his head on the boy's lap, "Alright, Mari, you sit next to me, and let's go." I closed the door but it won't go all the way. "What the?" I pushed it again, this time with more force but it still won't close, "Close, damn it!" I shut the door using all my strength, it still won't shut.

My eyes caught sight of the driver's foot still sticking out of the car, jamming the door from closing.

"Oh shit, sorry man." I cringed but fortunately the driver was still sound asleep, but that's definitely gonna leave a mark. I lifted the guy's foot and pushed it inside, finally and successfully shutting the door. I went into the driver's seat then drove to Anaheim Convention Center.

* * *

><p>I stopped the cab in front of the building and the three of us stepped out. I pulled the still-unconscious snoring driver from the backseat and shoved him back in his rightful place before putting his shades on his face to conceal his sleeping eyes. I put both his hands on the steering wheel then slipped a $50 bill in his shirt pocket, "Thanks for the drive, man." And gave him a few taps on the shoulder, he just snored. I walked to Mari and Billy who was waiting up front.<p>

"Let's go." I said.

"What about the driver?" Billy asked. We looked back and the open-mouthed sleeping driver slammed his head on the steering wheel, honking the horn continuously.

"I-I think w-we should go." I pushed the two of them nearer to the center.

Dozens of people were walking with us towards the convention center. Its unusual futuristic design, a grey metal frame sticking out at the center of the structure, forming an irregular cylinder at the middle most likely added for that dramatic look. The main body was almost entirely composed of blue-tinted glass with thin gray steel in between to hold the panes into place.

Located just between the glass panels is a thick metal frame running around the structure, firmly fastening the skeletal frame into place, and on that piece of steel were enormous letters:

_ANAHEIM CONVENTION CENTER_

A huge number of people swarmed the main entrance of the building, trying to make their way inside.

_ VidCon has begun._

I made a left and circled around the building, going around back into the VIP entrance taking Mari and Billy with me, pulling them and going through the crowd.

"HEY! IT'S IAN HECOX!" I heard a girl squeal, we stopped at our tracks.

"OH MY GOD, IAN!" Another girl squealed. I sighed and looked at them, I was surprised that there was not only two, but eight of them, wearing Smosh shirts trying to hide their fangirliness. I don't know what to do but smile at them as one of the girls, a curly brunette with sparkling blue eyes, wearing blue _'Periods Suck/Commas Rule' _shirt and in her teens took a step closer to me. Her smile was indescribable, her cheeks were crimson, she opened her mouth but not a single word came out, her hands were gripping a notebook and a pen. She was definitely nervous.

I grinned at her, "Hey little girl, I think you want that signed?" I gave her the widest smile, she trembled and slowly nodded, "Well then," I took the notebook and the pen from her, "To whom will I address this, Malady?" I said in an English accent.

"T-to me." She was still shaking.

"And your name is?"

"Angeline." The girl stuttered.

"Okay," I wrote on the autograph book:

_"To Angeline, I hope you have a Smoshin' good time! Love, Ian_"

I signed my name on the notebook then handed it to her.

"Can I take a picture?" She shakily held out her phone.

"Yeah! Why not?" The girl squealed then pulled one of her friends from the crowd and handed the phone to her. Angeline ran at me and wrapped her arms around my tummy. I felt her tears of joy go through my shirt.

"Whoa, you're way chubbier in real life than in your videos." Angeline said.

"I love donuts!" I yelled, she squealed again.

* * *

><p>"Ian! What are you doing here man?" A familiar voice came from behind us, "Your live show is about to start in like, thirty minutes!" It was my friend <em>Ryan Todd<em>, the director of our videos. I glanced at my watch and it was 12:30PM, I must've got into the moment too much.

"Oh yeah, sorry guys I have to go." I tried excusing myself but then I heard some fans groaning in disappointment.

I felt sorry for them, "Okay here's a deal, to those people who haven't gotten my autograph or taken pictures with me yet, meet me at the back entrance later at around 6PM but don't tell others, just keep it to yourselves, deal?" I winked.

"DEAL!" They said. We left them and dashed to the VIP entrance.

With Ryan's help, I was able to get Billy in through the guards, "You go ahead, Ryan, I'll catch up!" I gestured for him to go ahead.

"Better make it quick!" He said as he left the three of us.

I turned to Mari and Billy, "We need to find Ian, before he could do anything bad." I said.

"But _you're_ Ian." Billy said.

I froze then backhand slapped him across his face, "The _Evil Ian_, you twit!"

"Ouch, okay." He rubbed his cheek. We made our way to the backstage where the 2012 us will be doing the ten-minute live show. We went through the thick crowd; they were eagerly waiting for their idols to make an appearance. I looked at the stage: glowing purple with some funky lights flashing at the wall, with band equipments on the platform…_the memories._

Then something at the corner of my eye caught my attention, I looked at that direction and two familiar figures were conversing, I tried to make out their faces but it was dark where they were standing. Then in a stroke of luck, one of the stage lights shone at the two: Evil Ian and a thin bespectacled man wearing red shirt and jeans, it's _Hugh Jasshol_, the internet troll.

I pulled Mari and Billy under the crowd and led them through it, hiding from their view but walking towards them. The noise of the crowd started to fade away slowly as we distanced ourselves from them. We hid behind a wall and were now able to hear their conversation.

"Hugh, after I drop this bucket of water on Anthony's head, you play the video on the screen, got it?" Evil Ian instructed the internet troll.

"Okay." I heard the raspy voice say.

"Well what are you still doing here? Go to the control room and wait for the signal, bitch!" Ian shouted.

"Okay boss. Dick." He mumbled.

"What did you say?"

Hugh's thin frame flinched, "I-I said click." Hugh stuttered.

"GO!" I peeked and saw Ian walking to the right, going up the gangway over the stage, while Hugh went the opposite.

"Mari, you go and follow Hugh and stop him from playing Anthony's video—" I said, "—and Billy?"

"Yeah?" The boy looked at me, the propeller on his hat spinning.

"If I fail at stopping Ian from dumping the water on Anthony, you push him out of the way got it?"

"Crystal Clear." He nodded.

"Okay then, let's move." We split up with Mari following Hugh and Billy waiting backstage while I silently followed Ian up the metal ladder.

* * *

><p>I found myself high above the stage on the gangway, suspended just above the stage and lit only by a few bulbs on the ceiling. I was slightly out of breath as I searched for my evil self setting his plan into motion. At the other side of the metal plank was a person crouched and pouring water into a bucket. <em>It's him.<em>

Then the song _'Firetruck'_ started playing from the speakers, vibrating the metal platform. I looked down and _Smosh has entered the stage. _

First 2012 Anthony stepped up with his old Emo hairstyle, wearing baby blue long-sleeved polo with navy blue necktie complete with black pants. Then I saw 2012 me with my usual bowl cut in a combination of brown, orange and white checkered long-sleeved polo and denim pants.

I watched below while quietly making my way to my evil counterpart.

"_Hi, hello.""_ 2012 Anthony shyly bowed his head at his microphone, his voice echoed in the place; I heard fangirls scream 'Anthony!' 'Ian!' 'I Love You!'.  
><em> "Dude, you know that's totally wrong. Seriously? That's how you introduce?"<em> I heard my younger self say.  
><em> "I-I'm nervous, man."<em>

"_No, it's supposed to be like this, VIDCON TWO THOUSAND TWELVE!"_ I heard my loud voice blast through the speakers followed by screaming and squealing of the fans, 2012 Ian below dancing like a total idiot around the stage. It's kinda awkward to watch yourself act stupid.

"_We're Ian and Anthony from Smosh."_ He continued and more fangirl squeals followed.

"_They already introduced us so I don't know why you're wasting your time."_ On stage Anthony said to on stage Ian.

I ignored the following conversation and continued to sneak up on evil Ian.

"Take this Anthony, you son of a bitch!" He laughed, pouring all of the water into the bucket then suddenly stopped. He slowly turned his head and caught sight of me. "I guess I'm smarter than I thought." He said.

"This has to stop, Ian, this won't get you anywhere." I pleaded.

"I don't care, I just want him to pay." He smiled at me with his menacing eyes.

"Please, stop." I took a step closer, "This will cause more problems than fix it. Nothing will change, it will only make it worse for you, think about it."

He paused for a moment and looked up, in deep thought.

"Yup, thought about it. Still gonna do it!" Evil Ian pulled a fire extinguisher from behind and aimed it at me, spraying a cloud of nitrogen in my face.

"Catch me if you can, bitch!" I heard him say, then he hit me with the fire extinguisher on my right arm and I screamed in pain.

It was followed by a series of footsteps fading away from the place. I coughed and tried to fan the smoke and found it hard to open my eyes. I took a step backwards and then tripped on the railing, sending me falling over.

"WHOA!" I fell over but I managed to hold onto the railing with my left hand, leaving me dangling over the stage, hanging on for dear life.

"Ian! Hold on!" Billy yelled, "I'm coming to get you!"

I couldn't see anything, the smoke of the fire extinguisher got into my eyes. I reached my right hand to grab on the bar but the pain soared in my injured arm. I tried pulling myself up and over the edge, but I couldn't. I tried again with my right hand, this time grabbing on a different set of railings but slipped again. I swung my dangling feet to reach the flooring, but it was no use.

My left hand grew sweaty, slowly losing grip on the metal rod I was holding on. My mind raced, my heart raced, I didn't know what to do.

Then my hand lost its grip, _this is it_.

"NO!" Billy screamed as I let go.

But suddenly, a different pair of hands held onto my arm saving me from the plummet. I wiped the white foam from my eyes and looked at the helping hand, but the stage lights were shining down that prevented me from seeing her or him.

"DON'T WORRY BUDDY! I GOT YA!" The rescuer said, tightening his grip on my arm. He sounded familiar, like I've heard him before.

The lights shone on the man: semi-Emo wavy hairstyle, lean built, and the ugly butt-nose.

_Anthony._


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Double Visions

**Ian Hecox**

A dramatic and in a nick of time entrance, Anthony just saved me from my doom for the second time.

"How's it hangin'?" He said as he pulled me.

"Oh you know, nearly falling to my death, thankfully you came just in time!" I replied, chuckling.

He grunted, "Ian, you might wanna help me in pulling you back in, you're heavy." Anthony said.

"Oh yeah." I reached my other hand to the railing but the pain on my bruised arm returned as soon as I grabbed the metal, "AHHH!"

"What?" Anthony was freaked out.

"My arm." I whimpered. He pulled me up with all his strength while swung my foot to reach the edge, reaching it then using it as a leverage to pull myself up. I grunted as my injured arm throbbed. Anthony grunted too, probably because of my heavy weight. I was finally back on the gangway, safe and sound. I lay flat on the metal platform, breathing heavily and staring up the ceiling, feeling the cold sweat and metal grills through my shirt. My rapidly pumping chest slowed down, returning to its normal rhythm, glad that the ordeal is over.

I sat up and turned around to face Anthony, who was also out of breath and sweaty. He smiled at me, "Well that was scary." He said.

"Thanks, man." I smiled, still panting, "You came back."

"Yeah, thankfully I did, just in time. Any later I would be scraping you or what's left of you from the stage." He snickered.

"I can't believe it, you came back."

"Best Friends don't quit on each other no matter what." He said, _True dat._

"So..." I raised the two halves of the BFF necklaces, "BFFs?" I grinned.

"Hell yeah, BFFs!" He took one of the halves. He stood up and reached out a hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me up to stand.

"I couldn't have wished for a better friend." I admitted.

"I couldn't let my brotha from anotha motha get killed!" He acted like a gangster.

I have to admit, it was touching and nowadays, it's hard to find friends like Anthony who will never let you down, especially when you're hanging over your doom.

A sound of slow clapping came from behind us, "Amazing! Amazing entrance you got there, Anthony!" We turned and there Evil Ian stood, grinning and sarcastically clapping his hands, "That was a cringeworthy ianthony moment you got there."

"It's over, Ian!" I said.

"Over? Ha! It hasn't even started yet!" I noticed his foot slowly nudge the big bucket of water over the edge.

"You don't have to do this." Anthony pleaded.

"It was your entire fault, Anthony!" My evil counterpart yelled. "You made me do this! I thought you're my best friend!" He continued to nudge the bucket.

"What? I'm sorry! Even though I haven't done anything yet."

"It's too late for that!" Evil Ian started tearing up as he nudged the bucket even further, "Now it's your turn to get humiliated! Oh yeah, and this is not water, it's something else."

And with those final words he kicked it over, sending it falling down on 2012 Anthony.

"NOOOO!" I yelled.

**Billy Hamburger**

I stood backstage watching the 24 year-old Ian and Anthony goof off in their live show in front of the screaming fans. Ian was wearing a checkered polo, dancing around the stage like a total moron. Anthony was in a baby blue long sleeved formal button-up shirt with navy blue necktie, acting all shy and stuff, or at least that's what I thought.

I just waited there, ready to run onstage in case Ian fails to confront his evil self. I looked up the suspended platform just above them. Evil Ian sprayed Ian with a fire extinguisher then hit him with it on his arm as the white cloud of nitrogen engulfed Ian. I could only see his legs step backwards. Then Ian tripped on the railing and fell over the gangway.

"IAN!" I yelled, then the 2012 Ian on stage looked back at me. I just smiled and waved at him. He did the same then continued his show with the emo-haired Anthony.

I glanced back up and Ian was only holding on the railing with one hand. I saw him swing his foot but failed to get a footing.

"IAN, HOLD ON!" I yelled. The on stage and performing Ian turned around gave me thumbs up, "No not you." I mumbled but he did not hear it. I returned my sights on the dangling Ian above them, "I'm coming to get you!" I ran began running backstage not looking away from him.

It was too late, Ian's hand lost its grip.

"NO!" I yelled, but it was masked by the yelling of the crowd. Suddenly a dark figure intervened and grabbed hold of Ian's hand, preventing him from falling down. I gasped in relief but still felt uneasy, Ian was not out of trouble yet. One of the spotlights shone on the mysterious savior... _Anthony Padilla_, the one I met in our outhouse, that Anthony.

"YAY ANTHONY!" I blurted out. The on stage 2012 Anthony looked at me and winked, "Not you guys." I laughed then glanced back up again seeing Anthony successfully pulling Ian over the railing.

Out of the darkness, I watched Evil Ian return, clapping his hands and confronting Ian and Anthony up on the gangway. All of a sudden he kicked the bucket off the edge, falling directly on emo-haired Anthony.

_That's my queue._

I ran onstage towards 2012 Ian and Anthony.

_ "You know, I could strip."_I heard Emo Anthony through the speakers followed by the loud squeals of the fans. I spread out my arms while sprinting towards them, intending to shove them out of the way.

My mind sorta slowed things around me, I looked up and the bucket slowly tipped over spilling its contents, directly Anthony. My feet projected me even closer to them. Keep running Billy, you can do it!

_ Whoa, did I just talk to myself in third person?_

I grabbed hold of their shoulders and shoved them out of the way, falling down on the stage floor.

CLANG! The bucket just hit the platform, spilling white fluid. I managed to get there in a nick of time, saving Anthony from the worst day of his life.

_ "What the hell?! Who are you?_" Emo Anthony sat up, looking at me, 2012 Ian was blushing in frustration that I interrupted their show.

"I-I'm the bearded man who'll be your volunteer, I guess I came early?" I had watched a recording of their VidCon performance dozens of times that I knew what happened or in this case, what WILL be happening.

_ "Ohh, you're too early, bro."_Ian said, looking at me from top to bottom, _"—you're not bearded."_

"I just shaved?" I smiled, rubbing my clean-shaven chin.

Ian whispered in Anthony's ear but I heard it through the speakers, _"I thought we're gonna get a hot chick as a volunteer?"_

_ "I guess we'll be having two guests then! What's your name, non-bearded 'bearded' man?"_Anthony handed me a microphone.

"Uh- it's—" I trembled in front of the crowd.

_ "C'mon boy, don't be shy."_ Ian patted my back.

"B-Billy." I mumbled, forcing those words from my mouth.

_ "Well Billy, I'll be choosing another volunteer to join you from the crowd!"_Then a deafening sound of squealing filled the site, ringing through my ears. Hundreds of hands stuck up in the air, volunteering themselves.

**Mari Takahashi**

I kept a safe distance from Hugh, but maintaining a decent pace after him as he squeezed through the crowd. I heard younger Ian's voice through the speaker, _"No, it's supposed to be like this, VIDCON TWO THOUSAND TWELVE!"_ It was followed by loud screaming and chanting by the fans, one even shouted next to my ear. I ducked, covered my ears then bowed down, those noisy Smoshers.

"Whoa! Watch it!" I accidentally bumped into someone.

"Oh sorry!" I kept my head bowed down.

"Mari? Is that you?" The person said, a familiar voice, I lifted my head up and the swirling lights illuminated the girl's face: blonde curly hair, pouting lips and moderately thick eyeliner, _Melanie._

"Hey Mel!" I smiled the hugged her, "How's it going?" I kept my eyes on the walking henchman as she pulled away.

"Oh, you know, enjoying VidCon with Kalel." Melanie pulled Kalel, her cute kawaii face sparkled with joy.

"Mari!" Kalel also wrapped her arms around me, enveloping me in a tight embrace.

"Hey Kristen!" I jokingly said.

"I told you not to use that name anymore!" She playfully punched my shoulder, her smile still etched on her face.

"Don't tell me what to do." I raised my voice in a playful way.

"You rebel, I like you." Kalel hugged again.

I pulled away and tried to excuse myself, "Um, excuse me, I-I have to go." I said.

"Wait." Melanie grabbed my elbow, "Where are you going?"

"I need to go to the bathroom, I ate a lot and now Mr. Tummy's really pissed off." I rubbed my stomach and pretended to want to 'go', "I'll catch up with you later."

"Oh, okay, Byieee!" Melanie waved goodbye, "Next time don't eat too much."

"I won't!" I scoffed then walked away from the girls. I never lost sight of Hugh Jasshol, I watched him enter the main control room of the stage that was in a small room slightly elevated from where the audience were standing, with a glass window facing the main stage directly opposite of where Ian and Anthony where performing.

I quietly twisted the doorknob and crawled on all fours inside the room, sneaking in like a ninja which is kinda funny because I'm Japanese.

I hid behind a large CPU, slowly peeping out, the control center had lots of buttons and tabs each with their own purpose, either to control sound or to play videos through the large screen on the stage. At the center was a large monitor, the main target of Hugh. Then two bodies slumped on the floor, both had orange darts lodged in their backs. I let out a quiet shriek then covered my mouth.

"Who's there?" I heard Hugh Jasshol's raspy voice. Footsteps soon approached the spot where I was crouching down. I quickly hid behind a counter just beside the CPU, almost getting caught by the bad guy.

"Come out, come out wherever you are." He said and walked to where I was hiding. I transferred to another hiding place, this time behind a box of equipments. I trembled as his tone was scary, menacing and sounding like a total psycho.

"Whoa, I gotta play this video!" I heard him say, followed by his footsteps. I slowly peered above the pile of boxes and became face to face with the bespectacled man and his creepy stare that sent shivers through my body.

"There you are." He said. He lunged at me and pinned me on the floor. I screamed and hit his body with everything I've got but he was too strong for a skinny man. His hands crawled from my arms to my neck but stopped halfway. He looked out the window, his expression changed. He went off of me and ran to the huge monitor, typing rapidly.

I clumsily rose up and charged at him screaming and hopping on his back, pulling his hair and forcing him away from the computer.

"AAAARRGHH!" He screamed as I pulled his hair, both of his arms reached behind to claw me, struggling to get me off his back, "STOP!" He yelled, but I kept yanking.

He backed away and slammed me onto a wall, the impact made me hit my head and lose grip of his hair. Then he rushed back to the computer. I stood back up, looked around and noticed the two sleeping guys with the darts on their backs. I ran at one snoring guy and gently yanked the tranquilizer from his back, "I'm sorry about that." I apologized. I took deep breaths with anger clouding my emotions and ran at Hugh again, adrenaline pumping through my veins, "AAAAAHHHHH!" I screamed as I buried the dart in his back.

"AAAAARRRGHHH!" He yelled and tried reaching for the embedded tranquilizer. He turned around and raised both of his numbing hands, reaching for my neck. I backed away as he limped towards me. His eyes began to look heavy, then his raised arms fell back to his sides, his legs buckled and he finally collapsed on the ground.

"BIIIIIIITCH!" I mocked. I went to the computer, the desktop displayed an open window, it showed a video file labeled:

_ANTHONY'S EMBARRASSING VIDEO_

I dragged the mouse pointer on it and right clicked, I chose the option to delete it. A command prompt asked me if I really wish to delete it and without any hesitation, I clicked _'yes'_.

**Anthony Padilla**

Ian screamed as his evil self kicked the bucket off the metal floor, sending it falling down to younger me.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Evil Ian laughed as the bucket fell. Suddenly, Billy ran onto the stage sprinting towards Ian and Anthony. He grabbed both of them by the shoulders and pushed them out of harm's way. I was left speechless, that was close. The crowd gasped with the surprising entrance of the boy. We glanced back at Evil Ian who was looking down with his mouth hanging open.

"Didn't expect that one did ya?" I smiled.

"Time for plan B." Evil Ian smiled and stared at his watch, "In about 5, 4, 3, 2, one!" He gestured to the screen on the stage but nothing happened.

"Uh, what is it?" The injured Ian said.

"Any moment now." Bad Ian became uneasy; he tapped his foot on the grills impatiently, "any moment now."

Nothing displayed on the screen.

"What's taking him so long?!" The villain said. We looked to the control room opposite the stage and saw Mari in the room, smiling at us then flipping Evil Ian the bird.

"Well I guess, we sorta foiled your plan?" I added.

The bad guy was angered even more, "YOU ASSHOLES! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY REVENGE!" He whined like a little bitch.

"Wah wah, you little crybaby!" I mocked him.

"Look Ian, it's over. Getting your revenge is not worth it." Ian took a step closer to his evil self, "Come back with us." He reached out a hand, pleading for Ian to stop.

Evil Ian slapped away my friend's hand, "NO!" then sprinted away from us, running up a flight of stairs.

"Oh no." I sighed. Ian grabbed my shoulder, stopping me from giving chase.

"No, man, it's between me and him." Ian said, "Find Billy and Mari first."

I gave Ian a pat on the back, then walked towards the ladder leading down, "Be careful, bro."

Ian scoffed, "Since when was I careful?"

"Just watch your back till we arrive." I laughed.

"Alright."

"Wait!" I said as I tossed him a jacket.

"Why do I need this?" Ian looked at the long-sleeved jacket.

"You'll need it, trust me." Ian just sighed then ran after his evil self up the stairs while I went down. I was back on ground level looking for Mari while waiting for Billy to finish his role on the stage.

"Mari!" I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled at the top of my lungs but the noisy audience masked my calls.

_ "LEAVE!"_ I heard the on stage 2012 Ian yell at his volunteers: Billy and a random girl, I guess they're done. Billy and the girl went down the stage face in their hands, crying. Billy went straight through the crowd and directly bumping into me.

"Billy!" I put my hand on his shoulder but he did not respond. I heard him sob, "Hey, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Why is Ian so rude?" He sobbed.

"W-wait, you do know that it's scripted, right?"

Billy's face looked at me, eyes swollen in tears, "I-it's just role-playing?"I nodded.

"Ohh." Billy smiled again and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Where's Mari?" I asked him.

"Right behind you." Billy pointed. I spun around and Mari was there.

"Anthony! You came back!" Mari hugged me.

"Of course I came back, you think I'd let you have the adventure to yourselves?" I said.

She tightened her arms around me, "Good to have you back."

"H-how about you loosen that hug, I-I can't breathe." She was squeezing the life outta me. Mari pulled away.

"Sorry." She giggled, "Where's Ian?"

"He's gone after Ian." I said.

Billy cut in, his propeller hat spinning, "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go help him!"

**Ian Hecox**

I ran up the stairs while putting on the jacket Anthony had just given me, heart racing and whole body sweating, I was catching my breath as I climbed up.

_ 4th floor..._

_ 5th floor..._

_ 6th floor..._ It seemed to have no end.

I saw someone standing on the seventh landing of the stairs with his head bowed down, one hand on the railing and breathing heavily, wearing a black Food Battle 2014 t-shirt, _Evil Ian._

I held on his shirt, "S-s-stop, I-Ian." I gasped.

"N-no, Y-you—" he breathed, "—can't catch me."

"P-please don't make t-this h-hard."

"No." Evil Ian grabbed on the railing and pulled himself up the stairs. I struggled pulling his shirt down.

"Y-you c-c-can't p-pull me down." He finally stopped climbing up. He looked at me and by the looks of it he's having an asthma attack too.

"Y-y-you—" he gasped, "—g-got an i-inhaler?"

"I-I think." I dug in my pocket and fished out my inhaler then gave it to him.

"T-thanks." He put the mouthpiece where it should be and pressed the button of the inhaler, he breathed in relief. He gave back the inhaler and I used it also.

I took a deep breath, able to breathe normal again, "I have you now." I said, still grabbing on his shirt.

"Never!" He lifted his foot and kicked me squarely in the face. I tumbled down a few steps, every roll I hit different parts of my body. It hurts. Evil Ian proceeded to run up the stairs.

"I never knew that I could be a dick." I mumbled then got up my feet and resumed the chase. After a few levels, I went up the final set of stairs, up ahead was a door labeled 'ROOF'. I pushed open the door and a warm gust of wind blew against my face. The sun slowly sunk behind the silhouettes of the buildings of Los Angeles, making the sky glow orange.

Among the shapes of the buildings, a silhouette of a man stood: thick stature, meaty thighs and a bowl hair cut. "Ian, we meet at last." A deep robotic-like sound came from the man.

"Uh, we already met." I sassed him.

"Funny." We started circling around, keeping eye contact as we treaded the circle, the sunlight shone on his face: the image of me stared at me, my evil counterpart.

"So it goes down to this?" He challenged me.

"I suppose so." Ian pulled out as stick from his pocket as long as a pencil, he pressed a hidden button then a red glowing _Rock Candy_grew from it, emitting a _Lightsaber_-like sound. He struck a pose, swishing his weapon in the air.

"Whoa! You have one too?!" I asked, pulling out a similar stick with a hidden button, the stick shot out a blue _Rock Candy_ _Lightsaber_. I prepared myself.

"Your powers are weak, Ian." Evil Ian said.

"Why do you speak like Darth Vader?" I laughed at his robotic voice.

"What? Ehheem ermm!" He cleared his throat, "Is it okay now?" His voice returned to normal. I nodded. "Right then, YAAAAHH!" Ian ran then swung his sword at me which I blocked with my own, sparking a bright green light at the point where the swords collided.

Ian pushed my sword to the side but I counteracted by pushing it the other way. Suddenly, the pain on my right arm returned again. He attacked again, this time from the other direction. I ducked, and he ended up slicing the ground. I moved away from him as he struggled to pull out his sword buried in the thick concrete.

He was able to yank his sword from the ground then raised it overhead, letting out the lamest battle cry one could ever imagine. _This may be the reason why Anthony's getting all the girls, I'm weird as fuck._

I raised my lightsaber horizontally with both hands as it met the blade of my opponent, sparking another green light. I pushed his weapon upward with mine, momentarily disorienting him. I switched the sword from my right to my left then ran at him but he blocked my attack.

I felt his foot get close to mine then tripped me, "Hey! No fair!" I cried. Evil Ian stood up and pointed the tip of the lightsaber at my face.

"Really, you're gonna kill your past self? If I die, you wouldn't exist." I ranted.

"Oh yeah." He retracted his lightsaber then aimed his glove at me raising his index finger, "Say goodnight, Ian."

I rolled out of the way the second he shot a dart, "Stay fucking still!" He fired darts as I moved quickly from place to place. I did a backflip away from him narrowly dodging two darts. Next I did a cartwheel as another needle was launched, missing my skin but ripping my shirt, it felt like_ The Amazing Spiderman's_ slow mo time.

I quickly turned around and a glint of red caught me by surprise.

"AAAHHHH!" I rolled in agony, I couldn't feel my right hand. I brought it up to my face to see that there was no hand, only the burnt stump of my arm. I looked on the floor, seeing my severed hand rolling away, I crawled on the ground, reaching for it.

A foot landed on my remaining hand, making me scream, "So here we are again." Evil Ian stared menacingly at me, his other foot kicked the glove away from us, "Just like old times, eh?"

"Y-You d-despicable—" I stuttered.

"Call me what you want, I'm still gonna win." He gloated; he aimed his glove at me, "Any last words?"

I smiled, "Actually yeah, sing me a lullaby, Anthony?"

"Antho—" Evil Ian shook violently then fell flat on the ground. There two pins lodged into his back connected to a chord coming from the glove's finger.

"STUN GUN, BIIIITCH!" Anthony cheered from behind, doing the air thrust while holding my dismembered hand with the glove, with its middle finger flipped up.

"Oh boy, Am I glad to see you guys!" I stood up.

Mari saw my arm stump and ran towards me, gently holding it in her hand. "Ian! You're hurt!" She said, really worried.

"Nah, don't worry about it!" I brushed it off.

"What do you mean don't worry?! You have no hand!" She bellowed.

"It's alright!" I pushed out the fake stump from my sleeve and revealed to her my real arm, unharmed and okay.

Mari's jaw dropped, "But-? how'd-? I—?" She mumbled.

"Ask Anthony." I smiled at her then glanced at my best friend who was smiling widely. Mari just sighed and pulled us into a group hug, we squeezed into each other with each letting out a sigh of relief that the worst is over.

"I'm glad it's over." Billy said.

"Me too kiddo, me too." I smirked. We stared up the sky, the beautiful blue orange sky, the calm winds and the awesome silhouettes of the buildings as the sun hides behind them, it was a perfect view.

Then three flashes of white light illuminated the sky followed by three consecutive explosions. The DeLorean materialized and hovered in thin air, slowly descending to the place we were standing. The folded wheels of the car returned to its original form as it touched the solid ground as lots of mechanical sounds came from the car but soon faded away. The driver's side door flew open.

"TFG!" We all said as Teleporting Fat Guy stepped out of the car.

"What'd I miss?" He asked.

"Only the coolest, action packed and mind-numbing action!" Billy jumped up and down.

"Cool, now how about we go back to where we all belong?" TFG smiled.

"Hell yeah, I need a rest." Anthony whined, yawning aloud. _We definitely need rest, a lot of rest._

My smile slowly faded, it's like something's missing, Mari noticed.

"Ian, what's wrong?" She asked me, "You don't look happy."

"Yeah, what's wrong, bud?" Anthony joined in, placing his arm around my shoulder.

My head rose up, I remembered, "We gotta sign some autographs."


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Smosh is in Trouble

**Anthony Padilla**

Mari and Billy tied the sleeping evil Ian, while Teleporting Fat Guy brought him back to 2015 then quickly returned back to us. Ian slipped on the glove on his hand then grabbed my arm, he pulled me back to the door leading to the stairs, separating us from the three.

"Ian, what autographs?" I asked.

"I sorta promised a group of girls that I'll be signing some of their things." He replied.

"Oh, why did you?"

"It's a long story." Ian smirked. He looked at his watch, "—it's only quarter to five, and we're just in time." He then turned to the group, "We'll be right back guys!"

"Go ahead, we'll be waiting right here." Teleporting Fat Guy said.

"Thanks man!" Ian tugged my arm and we went down the stairs.

After a dizzying path down the stairs, we were back on the ground floor, breathing heavily and sweating. Both of us had hands on our knees, catching our breaths.

I looked at Ian and I remembered that he had the glove with him, "You have the glove with you all this time?" I breathed out.

"It seems so." Ian breathed his inhaler.

"You could've just teleported us down!" I raised my voice, then punching his arm.

"Oh yeah." A sudden dash of clarity spread across Ian's face.

_Ian can REALLY be dumb sometimes._

We went the backdoor entrance. He pushed open the door and there a group of four girls holding their things to be signed eagerly waited.

"IAN!" A girl with curly ginger hair screamed.

"I knew you would never let us down!" another girl screamed. I felt their eyes fixed on me with a hint of surprise and confusion.

"Anthony?" said the girl in a _Food Battle 2011 _shirt, "—is that you? What have you done to your beautiful hair?!" She shrieked, causing a commotion among the four.

I touched my hair, oh yeah, I had a haircut. "I just curled it." I lied.

"Is it really you guys?" asked another teen.

"Yeah, are you really Smosh? The Anthony we know and love has emo hair and Ian we know is not that fat." The blonde girl added.

"Really? you're gonna keep telling me I'm fat? I'm tired of that word." Ian frowned then bowed his head.

"It's us, guys." I said.

"Prove it." I was stupefied. _How CAN we prove that we're ourselves?_ Since everyone knows a lot about us. Then I thought of something, I sure hope this works. I fixed my hair then waved it in the wind, acting all sexy and shit.

Then someone yelped, "AHHH! I THINK MY OVARIES EXPLODED!" I looked behind them as they did too, a woman with blonde hair under her red and yellow propeller hat, holding her crotch. _Billy._

He then winked at us and fell to her knees. The four teens slowly turned their heads at us, their mouths hanging open.

"How about you, 'Ian'?" The girl did the quote sign with her fingers.

Ian also did the sexy hair flip. We all looked at Billy, "OH MY GOD, HUURGLLLL!" Billy pretended to vomit into a paper bag. The girls ran then hugged us.

"It IS you guys!"

We signed their things, from t-shirts to oddly, almost phallic-shaped clay objects. After taking pictures, it was time to say goodbye.

"Oh look at the time, we gotta go." I frowned.

"Aww! But thanks for the time and loving the new hair, Anthony!" The blonde girl who doubted us earlier said.

"Until next time!" We waved goodbye as they left the us.

Ian looked at me, "They are such nice girls, aren't they?"

"Yeah, but we almost got beaten up for pretending to be ourselves." I said.

"True." He sighed.

"Hey guys! Did I do alright back there?" Billy said from behind us, removing the fake wig.

"Thanks kid, you always have our backs covered. I really appreciate it" Ian pat the boy's back and Billy showed the widest smile he could muster, a smile that just by looking at it you can get cheek cramps.

"Really?" The boy's propeller hat spun rapidly.

"Yeah, we both do." I added.

"Yay!" The boy put each of his arms around our shoulders, skipping merrily. We just skipped along with him like total goofballs.

"Anthony?!" Someone yelled from behind us, stopping us in our tracks, "Why are you out here?"

We all froze then Billy released his arms from our shoulders then raised both of it in the air. "Alright! I admit it! I didn't mean to fart in Molester Moon's face!" Billy confessed.

"Wait what?! You farted in Molester Moon's face?!" I whispered to the boy.

"I was really gassy when Ian made me twerk in his face." He whimpered.

I looked at Ian, "What happened when I was gone?" I asked.

"We interrogated Molester Moon." My friend said flatly, "—he won't say anything so I used Billy to annoy him silly."

"Hello guys?! I'm still here!" said the person behind us. We carefully turned, slowly inching our way around. I noticed Billy's arms was still raised, I pulled them back down. The man behind us was wearing a brown, orange and white combination checkered long sleeved shirt and a thick bowl cut. Yeah you've guessed it, _2012 Ian_.

"ANTHONY?! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?" 2012 Ian looked at me from head to toe, squinting, "Whoa, you look—"

"Buff?" I flexed my arms, showing off my 'muscles'.

"—ugly." He smirked. I just sighed in frustration. His eyes moved away from me and focused on his future self, those squinting eyes grew wide in surprise. 2014 Ian tried avoiding eye contact as his younger self drew closer, examining him.

"Whoa, is he supposed to be me?" 2012 Ian looked at me, asking eagerly.

"Ummm, kinda?" I shrunk.

"Whoa, I look hot! Just look at those arms!" Younger Ian took out Ian's arms then lifted his older self's shirt, revealing his thick belly, "—and look at that rock hard one pack! I'm fucking sexy!"

_I think I might've barfed a little in my mouth._

"Ian! What are you doing out there?" Another familiar voice said from behind the younger Ian. Then an Emo-haired man wearing a baby blue button up shirt with navy blue necktie walked up. _Younger me._

The slightly younger Ian said, "I'm just here talking to ou—"All of a sudden, the world around us paused, from busy roads to flying birds, everything and everyone had came to a halt and no sound was heard, only the deafening ring that one usually hears when locked in a really quiet room.

"Wha—" I stuttered.

"I paused it." 2014 Ian said with one finger on a button, only me, him and Billy were able to move.

"Why?" I asked.

"One should not too much about his future." The voice of Teleporting Fat Guy said followed by a sound of jet engines came from behind, the DeLorean. We watched as it slowly hovered on the floor, "It's too dangerous." TFG added as he pushed open the car door.

"Oh, that's heavy." I said.

"Alright, now you have done the signing, how about we go back?" He gestured for us to get in.

"Wait, how will we all fit there?" Ian asked.

"Well we have to try, since you used the glove's pause feature that discharges the battery completely." Teleporting Fat Guy scolded Ian.

"Really Ian? You had to use that feature?" I raised my voice, "You could've just teleported us to the roof."

"I panicked, okay?" Ian wept.

"Nevermind, let's just go." I just brushed it off; it wouldn't be Ian if he wasn't an idiot.

"Wait just a minute." Ian stopped. He ran back to the paused younger us and grabbed 2012 Anthony's hand then shoved a finger up his nose, "Just for laughs." He took out his phone then took pictures.

"Asshole." I went to the paused younger Ian then pulled down his pants, revealing his_ Looney Tunes _printed undies, "Now we're even."

The six of us forced ourselves in the car and it was even a tighter squeeze than last time: my face was pressed against the car's passenger window while Mari's head was squeezed between my armpits, Ian's foot was on my tummy and Billy's hat pricked my head.

_I can't feel my legs._

"Ouch, watch where you're moving your foot, Ian!" I screamed as a sharp pain pierced my stomach.

"That's not my foot!" Ian said.

"Then what the hell was that?!"

_ "I want to sex you up."_ Said a deep recorded voice... That damn Fabio cutout.

"Dammit Fabio!" I yelled. The engines roared as the car struggled to gain height, burdened by our combined weights but it managed to climb to a decent height to go to 88 miles per hour.

"Let's do this!" Mark cheered.

"Ready guys?" Teleporting Fat Guy asked.

"Ready!" Ian said.

"YAAAY!" Billy exclaimed.

_ "I want to sex you up."_

The car gained speed, the coils around the car glowed bright blue emitting bright sparks of light. I took a glance at the speedometer: the needle was nearing 88. Then a loud explosion engulfed the car, immediately achieving temporal displacement.

A group of houses soon materialized, the sunset rays got into our eyes and I figured that we were back in Olympiad Way, where our house was, slowly descending on the road beneath us. I felt the wheels of the car press against the asphalt, slightly rocking the car. TFG drove us directly to our Smosh house.

The house was back to its usual, non-destroyed look, a sight for sore eyes. Its sky blue paint and the non shattered windows, it made me feel homesick and quickly pushed open the door then ran to the house, hugging one of its walls.

"Oh Baby! Good to know you're back to normal." I moaned as I pressed my cheek against the wall.

"Now you've settled in, I'm gonna bring these two back to the future." Teleporting Fat Guy said. I quickly ran back to the car and gave Billy and Mari a hug, Ian joined in too.

"Ian?" TFG said.

"What?" Ian replied flatly.

"The glove?" He reached out a hand, asking for the return of his glove. Ian took off the glove then handed it to its rightful owner, "Thanks!"

We both fixed our eyes at Billy, whose eyes were welling with tears, "Don't forget about me, guys." Billy said, tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Of course we won't! How could we forget the boy whose stupidity ended up being so useful?" Ian joked, Billy snorted then chuckled, leaning closer to wrap us in his warm embrace, we hugged him tightly.

"Don't be sad, we'll meet again in the future!" I reassured the boy.

"I'll make sure of it, bye guys, thanks for the fun times!" The boy wept as he closed the door. Then they took off.

"Well, Ian—" I said, putting my hand on his shoulder, "—that was one hell of a crazy adventure."

"Hella, bro." Ian scoffed. We walked towards our Smosh house, sighing in relief and arms on each other's shoulders.

"Oh God, once I get in there, I'm gonna be jumping straight to my bed." Ian said.

"Yeah, me too. I-I mean, in my bed, n-not with you." I said. Ian looked at me weirdly then shook it off.

"What date is it today?" I asked. Ian looked at his watch.

"It's November 30." He said.

"Happy birthday, man!" I pat his shoulder and he smiled.

Then I noticed the lights inside the house were off, "Why are the lights in our house off?" I questioned since we always leave at least one light on inside whenever we leave.

"Ooohh! Maybe they're throwing a surprise party!" Ian sprinted to the front door. His hand wrapped around the doorknob and twisted it around, unlocking it. I quickly ran to his side as he slowly pushed the door open. Nothing but darkness surrounded us."Hello? Is someone here?" Ian called out. No answer. The lights in the house flickered on; this is it, _Ian's birthday party!_

There was no birthday cake, no streamers, neither punch nor balloons were there. Only five guys dressed in black suits wearing shades stood in front, standing there quietly that intimidated us. Each of them had an earpiece with them.

One man stepped in front of us and spoke up, "Ian and Anthony?"

"Y-yeah?" We trembled as the five creepy people circled around us.

"Our boss wants to see you." He said.

"Why?" Ian spoke firmly.

"It's not my task to disclose the purpose. You'll have to come with us."

"We're not gonna go unless you tell us." I raised my voice, "C'mon, man." I told Ian and we went to the door. But one of the goons stopped the door from opening. I were surrounded by them and we back away into the living room, fear taking the most of us.

_ Something's not right_.

"I'm gonna ask you one last time, come with us or we'll bring you there by force." The goon said.

"No." Ian and I said flatly.

"Fine then, hold them." At his signal, two guys wrapped their arms around our heads then turning it to one side exposing our necks, then their other arms held ours behind our backs, rendering us defenseless. The lead goon pulled out a syringe containing an orange fluid that we both knew what it was. The man walked towards us, aiming the needle at my neck.

"This might sting a bit." He said. I trembled in fear, there's no escaping now as all attempts of escape were proven futile. I stood there helpless, just waiting for the sharp object to pierce my skin, any moment now.

SMASH! The window shattered, a ball rolled next to my foot, "SMOKE BOMBS!" screamed the goon. The ball on my foot started hissing, emitting white smoke that clouded the area, "Make sure no one gets either one of them!" Everyone started coughing as the foul odor of the smoke bomb filled our noses.

Then a grunt was heard followed by a thud. Another thud and I was free from my captor.

A hand grabbed my arm and pulled me through the clouded living room leading me away from the blast area. On our savior's other hand was Ian, who was also coughing heavily. The unknown man wearing long green cape pulled us out of the house and led us to our fence.

He turned to us, his mouth and nose was covered with a scarf, "Over the fence, the car's waiting for us." He said. Without any hesitation I climbed over the wooden obstruction then landed on my back. The caped man jumped over it with ease.

"Help!" Ian yelped. He got his underwear hung on one of the pointed edges of the fence, he got wedgied. I sighed and ripped his undies from the sharp tip.

We found ourselves in an alleyway, at the end of it was a car waiting for us, just like what he said. We quickly ran to the car and got in, me and Ian diving in the backseat, piling on top of each other.

"Thanks, whoever you are." Ian gasped for air. The mysterious hero pulled down his hood; a golden yellow hair under a long green pointed hat, blue eyes, crooked nose, and pointed ears.

"Link?" I mumbled, "What's going on?" I began to have my panic attack.

"Calm down, Anthony." Link said, "We have to get away from here." He started the car and drove away from our house.

"Can you at least tell me what's going on?" I said.

"You're not gonna believe this, but our parent company, Alloy Digital, has turned against us."

Our troubles were far from over as another adventure unfolds.

* * *

><p><strong>And that my dear readers, is where SMOSH THROUGH TIME ends, and where SMOSH AGAINST TIME begins.<strong>

**Now tell me, what were your favorite parts of the fanfic? Did it do any better than the first or did it stink? Is it worthy enough for a PART 3?**

**Thanks for reading! I'll be waiting for your answers in the comments!**

**TOO LATE! 'SMOSH AGAINST TIME' IS MOVING FORWARD! **  
><strong>-Migz<strong>


	18. THE FINAL CHAPTER: SMOSH AGAINST TIME!

Find out WHY the dorks are on the run and WHY does Alloy Digital want them captured in the concluding chapter of this SMOSHTASTIC TRILOGY!

* * *

><p><span><strong>SMOSH AGAINST TIME: The Epic Conclusion (Book Three)<strong>

_**They were supposed to be peacefully celebrating Ian's birthday party, not on the run. Their first interference with the past has caused a ripple effect, creating even more problems in the timeline therefore drastically changing their present: a world in which a sinister villain had taken over Smosh's parent company, Alloy Digital. And his first order was: Capture every Smosh character.**_

_**They're the last hope, everyone is held captive.**_

_**Ian and Anthony along with a handful of others must band together to fight against the empire, reclaim the company and race against time to prevent the space-time continuum from falling apart.**_

_**PREPARE FOR THE BATTLE OF SMOSH.**_

* * *

><p>What are you waiting for?! Go and check it out! there will be more <strong>EVEN MORE <strong>IANTHONY MOMENTS.

SMOSH AGAINST TIME has been competed as of May 2015, go check it out on my profile! I guarantee you, **THREE TIMES THE ACTION, THREE TIMES TIMES THE SEX JOKES, THREE TIMES THE FUN and THREE TIMES THE SMOSHY REFERENCES **that you'll drown in it!

-MIGZ421


	19. PART THREE IS LIVE!

**Yes the Title says it all... SMOSH AGAINST TIME is now live! **

**I lied about taking a break, but the truth it is... I CAN'T STOP WRITING IT! It's been a great journey, that my SMOSH INTO TIME has spawned TWO SEQUELS, and the sequel being eeehhh, SLIGHTLY BETTER THAN THE FIRST? LOL especially that one instance where Y'know, that TWIST? Hahaha **

**There'll be lots of smosh references and returning characters that's in store for you in 'Against Time'! **

**I'm excited! **

**-Migz421**


	20. Sequel(ish): THE SMOSHTASTIC EXPECITION

Hey guys! Guess what? There's a new Smoshtastic Adventure waiting for you, and it's **NOW LIVE!**

I don't consider it as a sequel, but the type of Story it will be falls under the category of "Standalone Sequels"

Pretty much like _Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. _But I'll still and always consider my original masterpiece as a **TRILOGY.**

I can't stop writing, I think it's my passion to unleash my imagination.

* * *

><p><strong><em>It has been a year since Ian and Anthony have had a crazy adventure, an adventure through time and space that threatened their channel's existence and their own as well. They returned to their normal and boring lives of writing and shooting videos. Come to think of it, they were wishing for one of those events to happen again.<em>**

**_Wish granted._**

**_Being mistaken as explorers, they were tasked by the head curator of the Los Angeles Museum to go on a quest for 'The Golden Flamingo', an ancient treasure that had been missing since the 12th century that is said to grant the owner his innermost desires. The duo, seeing the offer as an opportunity to go on another crazy adventure, gladly accepted without knowing the catch: they aren't the only people looking for it._**

**_Join them along with the Smosh dudes who fought in the battle of Smosh in this brand new adventure that will keep you at the edge of your seat!_**

* * *

><p>Yeah, I may write the "Smosh Fam" in but maybe in a small role, I'm still deciding on it though.<p>

Check out the Intro of the book! It's live RIGHT NOW!

-Migz


	21. SMOSH BLANK TIME TRILOGY TRAILER!

I EDITED A TRAILER FOR THIS EPIC TRILOGY! GO CHECK IT OUT NOW ON YOUTUBE! Just type in:

**SMOSH [BLANK] TIME TRILOGY TRAILER**

There are two versions actually, one Low Quality and one High Quality... so If I were you, I would choose the HD Version for a SMOSHTASTIC VIDEO!


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